I swallowed down the wine and put my finger to my lips, despite knowing full well Mum and Dad were long in bed already.
“I bet you were so hot as you came for him…”
My stomach fluttered. “You’d have to ask him.”
“No, I wouldn’t,” she smiled. “I already know.” She looked at the final slops of wine in the bottle. “You may as well finish that.”
The room was already swaying around me. “I’ve totally totally totally had enough.”
“No, you haven’t. You need it, anyway, to cheer you up, my treat.”
But it didn’t feel like it was cheering me up. I downed the rest and lay back on my bed, and the ceiling was spinning, florescent stars everywhere. Lizzie started laughing and I laughed, too, even though nothing was funny. She grabbed my hands and yanked me up the bed towards her, fluffing up pillows under my head.
“Come and lie with me.”
“Like I have any choice.” I closed my eyes, but smiled. “You’ve got me trashed, Lizzie Thomas. I can’t even see straight. You’re bad for me… bad…”
“I’m good for you,” she giggled. “You love me.”
“Yes, I do.” I poked my tongue out. “But I am trashed, and it’s all your fault. All your fault. And Mr Roberts, it’s his fault, too. All his fault. I’ll be a virgin forever and it’s all his fault.” I laughed to myself. “All his stupid fault.”
Lizzie pressed up to me. “You won’t be a virgin forever, Hels, with or without Roberts.”
“But he’s all I want. Only him.”
“Forget about who it is,” she said. “Believe me, Hels, it doesn’t really matter. Just as long as it feels good, right? That’s what matters.”
I laughed. “Whatever you say, Lizzie. But that’s stupid. Of course it matters…” I rested my hand over my eyes but she pulled it away. “I love him.”
“You can have fun without being in love, Helen Palmer. Trust me.”
“I’m always trusting you,” I said, and my voice sounded weird. “You’re my bestie. Bestie of the besties.”
“Good. You should. I’m trustworthy. I’m the super bestie.”
“Yes, you are. Super bestie. Super, super bestie.” I groaned to myself. “I didn’t even get to try anything… how mean… just a few things. And then he was gone. It’s so unfair… I wanted it all. Everything. Every. Thing.”
She switched the main light off and got the lamp, and it was so much better for my eyes. I shuffled down a little, got comfortable.
“Shame you didn’t get chance to try out all the stuff in your kinky pictures.”
“Yes!” I hissed. “Yes! It’s so unfair!”
I felt the bed bounce under me, and lifted my head to find Lizzie on her knees at the bottom, by my hamper. She pulled out my school tie and put it around her neck. “He should have used this on you. Wasted opportunity, stupid man.”
“Used that?”
She crawled up the bed to me, and she was laughing. “Yeah, he could have tied you up.”
I giggled. “Could have… I’d have liked that…”
“He could have done this…” She was still laughing as she grabbed my wrists, and I was too slow and drunk to respond. She pinned them tight and wrapped my tie around them, threading it through the rails of my headboard before tying me up in a knot. The knot was tight, I could feel it even through the drunkenness.
I pulled against it and laughed. “You’re so silly, Lizzie. Let me free.”
“No,” she laughed. “You’re my prisoner.”
I giggle-snorted. “You’re funny.”
“Try and get out,” she whispered. “See if you can.”
I pulled again, and the headboard moved a little but the knot was tight. “I can’t,” I said. “You know I can’t, silly. Urgh, Lizzie, I’m too drunk for this. It’s not fair. I can’t get out when the room is spinning, can I?”
“Do you like it?”
I opened my eyes in the lamplight and hers were right in my face. “Like it? This is silly, Lizzie. Silly.”
“I think you like it,” she said, and laughed against my neck. “You said you’d like it, being tied up.”
“Not like this,” I laughed. “By Mr Roberts, doh.”
“And I said it doesn’t really matter, just as long as it feels good.”
I felt a funny buzzing in my stomach. “Let me go, Lizzie, this is silly.”
She shook her head. “You’re my prisoner. You’ll have to say please.”
“Pleeeeeeease,” I mocked. “Pwetty pleeeeease. Cherries on top.”
“Close your eyes…”
“Say please with my eyes closed?” I was giggling again and I didn’t know why.
“Say please if you want, just close your eyes.”
I screwed my eyes shut. “Sometimes I think you’re the weird one. The weirdy weird one…” She yanked me down the bed, pulling me by my hips, and my arms were stretched out, the tie cutting into my wrists, but it felt so far away. “What are you doing? That’s tight…”
I felt her slide her leg over me, straddling me, and then she was laughing so quietly. It was cold as she pulled my top up, I felt the chill on my skin. And then it was warm, warm from her hands.