Teach Me Dirty

“Where the fuck is my daughter?!”

I heard Mum’s voice outside. “Stay in the car, Katie! Just stay in the car!”

And then more. “George! Stop it! Don’t do anything crazy, George! I mean it!”

“Where the fuck is my fucking daughter?!”

Mark held up his hands for calm, but this wasn’t a rowdy classroom.

Dad’s voice was a terrible roar. “HELEN! YOU’D BETTER GET YOUR FUCKING ARSE HERE, NOW!”

I pressed myself into the wall, trying to calm my breath, trying to summon up the courage to step into the fury. My eyes widened as Dad came barging in my direction, but Mark took hold of his arm, steered him back.

“Mr Palmer, please… calm down. This isn’t Helen’s fault.”

My heart broke. It cracked in half.

Please, God, don’t take the fire for me. Not for me.

Dad jabbed a finger at Mark’s shoulder and his teeth were gritted. “Don’t fucking tell me to calm fucking down, and don’t you dare fucking speak to me about my own fucking daughter!”

Mum arrived in the hallway, and she grabbed Dad’s arm but he was having none of it.

“GET FUCKING HERE, NOW, HELEN!” Dad’s voice made my stomach burn.

I stepped into view, and I was already crying, even though I hadn’t realised. Mum gasped as she saw me there, damp-haired and in nothing but a dressing gown, but I had no choice.

Mark’s eyes were full of horror. He placed himself between Dad and me, and a heaving sob left my throat.

“Helen, just stay there,” he said, and then he turned to Dad. “You really need to calm down, Mr Palmer. Helen hasn’t done anything wrong. This is all on me, so please, just take it easy on her.”

It was too much for Dad to bear.

The crack of knuckles on jaw was a terrible sound, and I screamed. I really screamed. And so did Mum. I flew down the hallway, straight into the heart of it, but Dad was too far gone. He landed another two punches before I was up in his face, and Mum was trailing from his arm, screaming for him to stop. Mark stumbled, but he didn’t fall. He backed into the wall, and there was blood, it smeared the back of his hand as he wiped his nose, and his lip was bleeding, too.

I wished it was me. I’d have taken ten myself, just to spare him.

I was at his side in a heartbeat and he tried to push me away, but I wouldn’t go. I wouldn’t leave him.

Mum screamed some sense into Dad, just enough to clear the red mist, but he was still raging, still panting, still gunning for blood.

“How fucking long?!” he snarled. “How fucking long? What was she? Sixteen? Fourteen? Twelve fucking years old? When did you decide you wanted a piece of my little girl, you filthy fucking bastard? HOW FUCKING LONG?”

“Dad!” I screamed. “Stop! This is crazy! It’s been WEEKS! Just WEEKS! I’m eighteen years old! I’m an ADULT!”

“YOU’RE NOT A FUCKING ADULT! YOU’RE NOTHING LIKE A FUCKING ADULT!”

I wanted to argue, but Mark gripped my arm. He shook his head, and his nose was still streaming. His eyes were full of fear, and it tore me apart to realise it was all for me.

But I wasn’t afraid of Dad. I wasn’t afraid for myself.

It was all for him.

Dad looked me up and down like I was the most disgusting thing he’d ever seen. “GET DRESSED!”

My breath hitched. “No,” I said. “I’m not leaving.”

“GET FUCKING DRESSED, OR I’LL DRAG YOU TO THE FUCKING CAR AS YOU ARE!”

And Mark’s hands were up again. “Enough,” he said. “Nobody is going to be dragging Helen anywhere.”

Mum’s voice was thick with fear. “Get dressed, Helen,” she said. “Please, love, for God’s sake, get dressed!”

I moved. Ducked around the corner where I pulled my clothes on with shaking hands.

Dad’s voice was a low growl, full of hate.

“You’re a disgusting, despicable piece of shit. Where are your fucking morals?”

“George!” Mum hissed. “Stop it!”

But he had no intention of stopping it. “You’d better get up tomorrow morning and clear the fuck out of this town, because I’m going to fucking ruin you. You understand me? I’m going to fucking ruin you. I’ll make sure everyone in this fucking town knows exactly what a perverted piece of shit you really are, and you can fucking count on that. You’re not wanted here, understand? You’re not fucking wanted here!”

I stepped back into the hallway. “Dad, don’t. Please. This isn’t Mark’s fault, it’s mine. It’s all mine.”

“Shut up,” he said. “You’re so fucking naive, Helen.”

Mum stepped towards me. “Come on, Helen, let’s go. Please. Before this gets any worse.”

Like it could possibly get any worse.

One look at Mark’s face told me it could. I nodded but I couldn’t speak. I didn’t have any voice.

Mark took my hand as I passed. “Helen, whatever you want to do… you don’t have to go with them…”