“Not making me feel better here,” I grumble.
“The point is, you’re entitled to have a vulnerable moment or two, my love. And I’ll always be there when it happens, to prop you up and reassure you.”
The flush of love and admiration sweeps through me so fiercely that it actually takes my breath away. “You know me so well.”
His hand moves from the back of the couch to push some hair behind my ear. “I’m just saying… you don’t have to be strong all the time. I’ve got you when you’re not able. So, tell me what’s really going on because I know it’s not about Rainey and Myles’ wedding.”
Leaning my face into his hand, I briefly snuggle into it with my eyes closed. When I open them, I say, “So much has happened to me—overwhelming things—and I feel like I’ve changed so much. I’m afraid the real me is gone. That little episode you saw of me getting worked up and using the wedding as an excuse… that was the old me talking and making a point that things other than this prophecy can be important. I just don’t want to stop being me, you know. I don’t want to change into something I don’t like.”
“I don’t think you’ve changed, Finley,” Carrick says, and I frown that he can’t see it. Again, he brushes my hair back from my face. “Everything you’ve been through, all the horrible, overwhelming, and life-changing events, merely chipped away all the things you were not. What is left is who you really are. And you’ll always be the woman who cares about her friends’ wedding.”
“You really believe that?” I ask him curiously.
“Of course I do.” His hand slides behind my back, and he pulls me forward just a bit to put his face nearer to mine. “And no one knows you better than I do. No one has seen who you are at your core the way I have. You are exactly who you are supposed to be—and whether you’re worried about Rainey and Myles’ wedding or saving the world—you’re still the same amazing, brave, badass, smart, tough, funny, and sexy-as-fuck woman I’ve always known.”
My gaze pins to his. “Thank you. That means a lot.”
“Anytime,” he replies, then releases his hold behind my neck and sinks back down to the pillow.
“What do you think about Boral?” I ask, my brain switching back to business.
Carrick’s expression darkens. “I don’t know. I can’t imagine he’d voluntarily give it up because of the binding, but maybe Kymaris had some sort of magic to undo it.”
“Is that likely?” I ask.
“No,” he replies grimly. “He was probably tortured for the information. If so, the minute he gave it up, he died. If he gave it up voluntarily because they found a way to undo the binding, then he’s dead by my hand.”
In my heart, I think he’s dead. I don’t think he would have voluntarily betrayed us, which would have betrayed his son. I also take stock of the fact that I’m actually feeling a sense of loss over Boral. He was a wretched creature who was responsible for who knows how much suffering and death. He had no morals, no conscience, and yet… he was helping us.
He’d wanted to make amends with Zaid, and damn it… I was actually starting to like the Dark Fae. He’d never been untoward to me, and he had always helped. He even protected me when we came out of Micah’s realm and the top half of that pine tree was going to crush me.
I felt in my heart that he truly had the power to be better just the way his son had. Because as Zaid had told me all those months ago in some of our earliest meetings, just because a person is born dark doesn’t mean they stay that way, just as being light doesn’t ensure they are good.
Everyone has the power to change.
Or as Carrick put it… to chip away those things they are not.
“You know,” I say hesitantly, my gaze going back to the blanket to play with a piece of fringe. “Boral was my sure ticket into the Underworld.”
I feel Carrick’s body jerk, and I risk a peek up at him. He’s shocked with a tinge of anger. “You were going to have him take you there?”
“No,” I rush to assure him. “I mean… not if you agreed to take me. But we had talked about it more hypothetically, and he told me the best way to go in would be through Micah’s realm. Follow the Crimson River to its source from the pits. It would be the safest way to go in without being seen.”
“You know I’ll take you, Finley,” Carrick murmurs. “But not until this is done.”
“I know,” I say confidently. Because he loves me, he’ll do it. He’ll even go after Zora if I get killed in the prophecy. He’s already promised that and he’ll follow through, just like he did by blowing up Kymaris’ house tonight to help put a stop to the parties and sacrifices going on there. He did that for me, not the countless humans he saved.