The Doctor Who Has No Chance (Soulless 11)

“Dex, it was a mistake. I would never risk losing you again. Ever. Please…”

I dropped my gaze because I couldn’t watch her cry. It physically hurt me, because even now, I still loved her.

“Give me another chance. We can be what we were. I would never leave you again.”

A part of me believed we were worth fighting for, that a fluke had ripped us apart, but I just couldn’t.

Because of Sicily.

Because I knew that would never happen with her. That she wouldn’t make a mistake like that in the first place, that she would treasure me every single day, appreciate me. “Catherine…I’m sorry. I won’t change my mind.”

Now she covered her face with both palms and quietly sobbed in front of me.

I couldn’t count the number of times I’d sobbed alone in my apartment, missing my wife, nursing my broken heart, wishing she would come through the door and tell me she was there. She would always be there.

I did the only thing I could.

I got up and left her there.

By the time I got to the front door of my parents’ condo, it was 10:30.

Both of my parents were asleep because they worked early in the morning, but I knew they wouldn’t care. I pulled up my dad’s name on my phone and called him.

He answered by the second ring, his voice clear like he hadn’t been asleep at all. “Everything alright, son?”

“Can we talk? I’m outside.”

He hung up.

A moment later, he opened the door, in just his sweatpants, his hair messy like he had been asleep. He guided me inside and gently shut the door so it wouldn’t wake up my mother down the hallway. “You okay?” His hands went to my arms, and he looked me over like he expected to see physical injuries somewhere. “What is it, son? Talk to me.”

“Um…I just saw Catherine.”

Both of his hands dropped from my arms. “You ran into her somewhere?”

“No, she asked to see me.”

His expression immediately tightened.

“We went to a coffee shop… I just left there.”

“What did she want?” All sympathy left his voice. Now he almost sounded threatened.

“First, to apologize…and then to ask if we could work it out.”

He turned away and walked toward the couch before he dropped onto one of the cushions. His forearms rested on his knees, and then he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. “And your response?”

I sat on the other couch, perpendicular to him. “I said no.”

His head immediately snapped in my direction, and there was no denying the surprise in his eyes.

“If this were a year ago, my answer would have been yes. Nine months ago, yes. Six. Even three…but not now.”

He closed his eyes for a brief moment, sighing in relief. “It’s not my place to tell you what to do, but…you made the right decision. I hope that conversation gave you the closure you needed.”

“Yeah, I guess it did.” I stared at the coffee table for a while, remembering all the times we would both come over here as a couple, and my father loved her the way he loved Emerson and Daisy.

“What are you thinking?”

I lifted my chin and looked at him again. “I’m not sure. A part of me thinks that if you really love someone the way I loved her, you should give them a second chance and try again. We all make mistakes. We’re human. You know, Derek basically lost his goddamn mind and did a lot of crazy shit…but Emerson took him back when anyone would have told her not to. Because she loved him. And then Derek was fucked up for a decade because he couldn’t let the past go, because he loved Kevin but just couldn’t bring himself to forgive him. If you really love someone, you should let it go.”

Dad continued to study me.

“And there’s no doubt that I still love her…always will. When she cried, I felt terrible. Like always, I wanted to take care of her. I’ll always want to take care of her.”

“Then why did you say no?”

I inhaled a deep breath. “I guess…because of Sicily.”

Dad gave a slight nod.

“She would never do what Catherine did, you know?”

“No, she wouldn’t,” he said in agreement.

“If I took Catherine back, that would mean I would never get the opportunity to have anything with Sicily, whether that’s tomorrow or sometime in the future. And I think Sicily is right…I deserve more. I deserve to be with a woman who would appreciate me every single day without having to lose me—and she’s that woman.”

Four

Sicily

I thought Zach was going to be a one-time thing, just a good time and nothing more.

But he continued to text me, sometimes asking me to dinner, and other times making inappropriate comments just to get me to smile while I was at work. I’m in a meeting right now, but you know what I can’t stop thinking about?