He was my whole world.
“Before I met Deacon, I would never date a guy that already had kids. It wasn’t the kids themselves that were the problem, but I wanted to start a family with someone from the beginning. Then I met Deacon, met his son Derek, and it just…happened. It didn’t feel like Derek was someone else’s son, but my son too. I loved him like my own, and then it was over.”
“How did you deal with the ex-wife?”
“Well, they weren’t in love. It was an unhappy marriage that Dex got trapped into, and his ex-wife was a terrible mother to Derek. The situations aren’t really the same.”
Because she didn’t have to compete with anyone. She was Deacon’s first love. “Dex told me it will never happen, but I worry he’ll have a change of heart and go back to Catherine. I know how he felt about her, and now that they have a kid…I don’t know… It makes me wonder if I should bow out.”
Her eyes turned sad.
“Don’t tell him I said that.”
“I won’t, honey. But I disagree with your thinking.”
“I know they would get back together if I weren’t here, and that means I’m the reason Ryan won’t have both his parents.”
“He will always have both his parents, honey. Family is a broad definition, and it can mean a lot of different things and scenarios. Maybe you’re right, maybe that would happen and be better for Ryan. But what about Dex?”
I turned to look at her.
“Dex would be devastated. He would make the relationship work, and maybe in time, old feelings would rekindle, but he’d always feel that regret in his heart…losing the woman he really wanted.”
I dropped my gaze.
“Ryan will always have two parents, together or apart, but there’s only one you.” Her hand moved to my shoulder. “You make my son very happy, and you take care of him in a way Catherine never did. I loved her like a daughter at the time, but I didn’t see the selflessness that Emerson has for Derek, or the commitment I have for Deacon. The way you feel about Dex…is special. You love him for his heart, for his goodness, and my son deserves to be loved that way. He doesn’t deserve to go back to a woman who had to lose him to appreciate him, to go back out of some obligation to his son. I want you for my Dex, honey.” She squeezed my arm and gave me a smile. “You.”
At the end of the night, we left the condo and headed to the sidewalk.
“Your first debut was quite the success, Little Dude.” Dex wore an apparatus so he could carry Ryan in front of his chest without using his hands. It was a gift from Derek, who said he used it all the time.
Ryan rested his cheek against Dex’s chest and closed his eyes.
Dex smiled as he cupped his back with his hand. “Little dude is tired after all the excitement.” He lifted his gaze and looked at me, still wearing that smile. “You want to stay over? I mean, you might have a baby wake up in the middle of the night, and we’ll spend the weekend playing with toys and watching cartoons, but…you know… We should be able to squeeze in some alone time.” He waggled his eyebrows.
I looked down at Ryan, who was already fast asleep against his father’s chest, tired out from all the attention he got for the evening. He had his own room at his grandparents’ house, full of toys and clothes. All he had to do was be born, and he was given the best life ever. I wanted to be a part of that life, be a part of this journey, with him and his father.
“Baby?”
I looked at him again. “Yeah…sure.”
Ryan cried a couple times during the night, and when that happened, Dex immediately turned off the baby monitor so it wouldn’t wake me up and left the bedroom to tend to his son. He never gave a sigh of annoyance as he took care of him.
But in one instance, Dex left and never came back, and I couldn’t go back to sleep until he was right beside me. I eventually got out of bed and went into Ryan’s bedroom to find Dex in the rocking chair by the crib, gently rocking back and forth as he held Ryan. He looked at me and whispered, “What are you doing in here?”
I stood near the door and crossed my arms over my chest. “You didn’t come back to bed.”
He nodded to Ryan. “Because Little Dude here decided it’s morning in the dead of night.”
“He keeps crying?”
“Yep. And just when I get him to calm down and back in the crib, he starts crying again.” He looked down at Ryan before he turned to me again. “So, I’m just gonna stay put until this guy is knocked out.”