He snorted softly. "Enjoy it while you can, because it won't happen again."
"Oh, I'm sure it will. Me being right, that is."
He grinned and leaned sideways, hitting me lightly with his shoulder. Coffee slopped over the edges of my cup, splattering my jeans. "Hey, careful. It may not be good coffee, but it is coffee, so let's not waste it."
He shook his head and finished the burger. After tossing the wrapper in the trash, he said, "I was always so scared about making a commitment and then dying, leaving Liander to cope alone. I never really thought about the opposite happening."
"We all have to die sometime, Rhoan." But may it be many, many years away, and not on the job, as Iktar had stated.
"Hell, yeah, but you and I, we have a higher rate of succeeding than most others."
"You know, that's a really depressing line of thought when I'm sitting in a hospital filled with sick people and ghosts." I took a sip of coffee, then added, "So because you've suddenly realized that Liander is as vulnerable to death as you and me, you're letting him live with us?"
"And I'm going to share more of myself with him. I'm going to try and give him what he wants, up to a point, because he deserves better of life and better from me."
I smiled. "Well, that's true."
He snorted softly. "You are such a bitch, sister."
"Had a great teacher, brother."
He shook his head. "I won't do the ceremony. I can't. I just can't. Not with what we do, not with what we face. But I can give him everything else he wants."
Not doing the ceremony wouldn't save Liander from hurt or pain or worse if Rhoan died. Not if what Ben said was true. But I wasn't about to give my brother another reason to push Liander away. Not when he was finally getting everything he wanted.
"He's never wanted the ceremony, Rhoan. All he's ever wanted is you."
"And that's the whole problem, sis. I love what I do. I love the adrenaline rush of it." He hesitated, then added softly, "I'm addicted to it. I need it. I can't completely give it up, not even for Liander."
And he wasn't talking about the killing. He was talking about the sex.
"I never knew."
His gaze met mine. "Liander does. I told him a while ago, when he basically told me to give up other men or he'd walk away."
"So that's why you've been behaving yourself."
"Everywhere except work. He understood, Riley. He really did."
"He's an amazing man."
"And as I've said all along, I don't want to lose him." His gaze went to his lover. "And especially not like this. If one of us has to die, then let it be me."
"Let it be no one in this little family unit," I said softly. "I think we've coped with enough shit in our lives already."
"Ain't that the truth." He looked at me for a moment, then touched a hand lightly to my still-scarred arm. "The hole is gradually healing."
"Yeah, thankfully." Though it was taking its time, it would heal and probably without much of a scar. I was going to end up with one on my face, though, at the point where one of the bakeneko's claws had dug the deepest. But at least it wasn't in the middle of my face nor was it that big. I could live with it.
Especially given what could have happened.
"But you still look very tired. Maybe you should go home and rest."
"Brother, I look better than you do."
"Yeah, but I didn't lose buckets of blood and then refuse to let the hospital do something about it."
No, he'd almost lost something worse. His heart. His soul. "You know I hate hospitals."