I had a horrible suspicion he was still one step ahead of all of us.
“I know,” I said. “Just . . . good luck.”
“Stop worrying about me, dear Risa, and just make sure you keep alert until we catch this bastard.”>“But I can’t see either of them giving those sorts of details to their own kind, let alone a reaper.”
“They didn’t. But the Raziq are nearly a hundred strong. It was simply a matter of capturing one of the unwary, lesser beings, and questioning him.”
Whatever it takes. Whatever needs to be done. The words rolled around the outer reaches of my mind, and though I didn’t know if they were mine or his, I shivered. Because those words were like a death knell ringing in my future.
“Why would the lower-ranked Raziq be privy to information like that, though?”
“Aedh can read the minds of any who are in close proximity, and though Malin and Hieu are powerful enough to conceal information, they would have considered their relationship neither valuable nor important.”
Because they didn’t do emotions—although they did seem to have the whole revenge thing down pat.
I sighed wearily. “This is all becoming a nightmare.”
Azriel raised an eyebrow, amusement briefly teasing his lips. “Becoming?”
I smiled. “Yeah, I guess that train left the station long ago.”
“Definitely.” He hesitated, his gaze sweeping my body before coming to rest briefly on my lips. Desire spun around me, but its sweet heat disappeared as quickly as it had appeared. “You need to rest.”
I couldn’t disagree with that. But I also didn’t want to get into that bed alone.
“Azriel—”
“No,” he said softly. “I want what you want, Risa, but it is better that we fight this. Assimilation is a very real threat.”
“But it’s not assimilation you truly fear, is it?” I said it softly, my gaze searching his. Looking for the emotions he was never going to reveal, but that I nevertheless knew were there. The hum of them echoed through the deeper parts of my being, warm and precious.
For a moment I thought he wasn’t going to answer, but then he said softly, “No.”
“Then for once tell me the truth, Azriel. What is it you truly fear?”
His hesitation was longer this time.
“What I fear,” he said eventually, “is us.”
Chapter 11
Of all the answers I’d expected, that certainly wasn’t one of them. I reached for him, but he stepped away from me.
“You do not understand,” he said, his mismatched blue eyes glowing with a fierceness that was part determination, part desperation. “I have a task to achieve, one that is vitally important to both our worlds. I cannot let emotion get in the way or cloud my judgment.”
“But this isn’t about emotion—”
“It is, and we both know it.”
His words should have made me want to dance. Instead, they scared the hell out of me. Because he was right. Whatever this thing between us actually was, it was certainly more than just sexual attraction. It had the potential to be something far deeper, far stronger. It was something that could change both our lives, in ways I couldn’t even begin to see or imagine.
But he obviously could, and that’s what scared me.
I licked suddenly dry lips and said, “If you’ve feared this all along, then why did you give in to desire in the first place?”
“If I was without flaws, I would not be a dark angel.”
“But it’s only made things worse.”