“If you get in our way, if you attempt to harm or spell or do anything else to me or my friends, I’ll kill you myself,” I said flatly.
And there went any idea of keeping a close eye on him.
“Warning heeded,” he said. The madness and hate flared again, so strong I could taste it. And while he appeared to have it under control, it nevertheless scared the hell out of me. I’d been sleeping with that darkness. It could have overtaken him—and me—at any time. “And now, heed this. Vengeance is mine, and the keys play a major part in that. I will not be deterred.”
“Then we both know where we stand.” I grabbed my purse and slung it over my shoulder. “It was fun while it lasted, Lucian.”
With that, I turned and walked out.
And I didn’t stop walking until I was out of his building and well down the street.
That’s when the shaking began.
I leaned back against the nearby shopfront and sank down, wrapping my arms around my knees as I sucked in great gulps of air. I felt like crying like a baby again, and all I wanted to do was scream, why, why, WHY? to the heavens.
Just this once, it would have been nice to catch a break, to have my suspicions proved wrong. Why the hell couldn’t fate play nice for a change? Just one break—surely to god that wasn’t too much to damn well ask?
“It would seem that it is,” Azriel said softly. He sank down in front of me and placed his hands on my thighs. His touch was like fire, and it chased away the shivers and lent me strength. “I am sorry that it has come to this.”
“No, you’re not,” I shot back, taking offense where none was intended. “You wanted Lucian out of my life, and now he is.”
“That is undeniably true,” he agreed. “But I do not wish to see you in such pain. Believe that, if nothing else.”
I did believe it. Just as I believed that the pain I was feeling now—a pain that came from betrayal rather than any emotional depth—was only just the beginning.
I rubbed my eyes wearily. “This has all become so totally fucked, Azriel. All I’ve ever wanted is an ordinary life, and that seems so far beyond me now I’m not sure I’ll ever get it back.”
“There was never anything ordinary about you or your life, Risa, however much you might have convinced yourself otherwise.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. The restaurant was ordinary, falling in love with Jak and then getting my heart broken was ordinary, wanting kids and a family sometime in the future is very, very ordinary. That’s what I want back, and yet all of those things may now never be.” My gaze pinned his. Deep in those turbulent blue depths I saw the acknowledgment of my words. “And you know it.”
He wrapped his hands around mine and squeezed lightly. Longing shivered through me, but sadly, he was just another desire that was never meant to be.
“Nothing is ever written in stone, Risa. Fate is a fluid thing that changes with every decision and action. The future I see and the one you fear might never be.”
“And just what fate do you see?” I asked softly.
He hesitated. “Death. Many deaths.”
I closed my eyes again. There were some things better left unknown, that was for sure. And yet I couldn’t help asking, “Who?”
“That is uncertain and depends on our actions going forward.”
“Me? You?”
He half shrugged. “There are always casualties in a war, and you and I are front-line soldiers. The possibility is always there.”
I knew that. I’d always known that. But somehow, having him say it made it seem that much more inevitable.
“I don’t want to die, Azriel.”
“That is not an outcome that would please me, either.”
I couldn’t help smiling. “Really? I mean, it would at least free you from my bothersome tendency to do what I want rather than listen to your good advice.”
Amusement briefly crinkled the corners of his eyes. “Is there not a saying about challenges being the spice of life?”
“Actually, it’s variety that’s the spice of life.”