“How?”
I rubbed my arms in a vague attempt to warm up. The wind blustered through the broken windows, stirring the ash and making paper remnants pirouette across the floor. The room was cold, wet, and stunk to high heaven, but there was nothing more miserable in the room than the wolf who stood before me.
“I don’t really know.” He moved across to the kitchen; a long, angular figure that was far too skinny these days, even for a wolf. Even his warm brown hair looked lank and unhealthy. It was as if his body was using everything it could to fight the monster that resided within. “One minute I was getting a roast ready for our dinner, the next I was standing in the middle of an inferno.”
I picked my way through the puddles and stopped beside him. “You had no warning of any kind?”
“Not this time.” His gaze came to mine. The fear and desperation in his warm brown eyes had my stomach flip-flopping. He wasn’t only losing the battle, but very near giving up. “It’s stronger than before. Stronger than —”
“Don’t say it,” I said fiercely. “Because it’s not true. You’re the strongest man I know, and the mere fact that you’re still here, still fighting this thing, proves it.”
He snorted. “You’ve known a lot of people who’ve consumed a fire spirit, have you?”
“No, and that’s the fucking point.” I glared at him. “If it has happened before, then those people obviously haven’t survived the merger, because there’s no record of it anywhere. But you’ve not only survived, you’ve retained control. Most of the time, anyway.”
“Yeah, but it’s the times I don’t that worry me. They’re starting to happen more and more, Ris.” He waved a hand at the ruined kitchen. “I don’t want to do this to either you or Ilianna, or anyone else for that matter.”
“But even when the elemental has taken over, you’ve never hurt anyone —”
“I hurt you,” he cut in. “And if not for Azriel, you’d have lost use of your damn hand.”
“That happened because I grabbed you. My fault, not yours.” I squeezed his arm gently. “And the minute I did touch you, you regained control.” And I’d do it again in a heartbeat, even if Azriel wasn’t around to heal me. What was a ruined hand when it came to saving a friend’s life?
“Next time it may not make a difference.” He took a deep breath, then blew it out. It was a heavy, frustrated sound. “I guess I’d better ring Ilianna and tell her what happened.”
“Good idea.” I glanced around the sodden living area. “There doesn’t seem to be much in here worth salvaging.”
“No. But hopefully the bedrooms will be relatively untouched.”
Hopefully. The doors still being closed was a good sign, at least. “You planning to stay the night?”
“Yeah. The fire burned out the security system, so I’ll keep watch until we can get it fixed.” He studied me for a moment. “What about you?”
“I’ve got a key to hunt down, and a deadline to beat.”
He frowned. “What deadline?”
I briefly explained what my father had done, and he swore softly. “Shit, we can’t seem to catch a break, can we? Not from fucking anything.”
“It would certainly appear that way.”
He hesitated, then said, “You can’t do this on your own, Ris. You need help – of the reaper kind.”
“I know.” I’d known it since I’d woken up earlier this morning. It had just taken me a whole lot of angst and arguing with myself to come to the conclusion everyone else had already reached. “I’m just not sure what to say, given the way we parted.”
“It’s simple. You need to explain why you were so angry, and he needs to explain why he did what he did. And then you both need to apologize and move on.” He half smiled. “There’s a world of people who are relying on you both, even if they don’t know it.”
I sighed. “I know. Trust me, I know.”
He placed his hand over mine and squeezed lightly. “You feel hungry? The lamb I was preparing is more than a little overcooked as a result of the fire, but I can wander down the street after I ring Ilianna, and pick up some burgers and coffee.”
“That would be lovely. In the meantime, I might just bite the bullet and contact Azriel.”
“Then I shall take my time getting back. Just in case there’s fireworks.”
“I’m not intending to argue —”
“I wasn’t talking about arguing,” he replied, a cheeky smile touching his lips. He bent and kissed my cheek. “Good luck.”