She closed her eyes and sent a prayer of thanks to the heavens. Then the rest of Mary's words hit her. How long had she been out?
Three days. Michael's thought winged lightly into her mind. I need to be alone, Michael. Please, just leave me be for a while. At least until she figured out how to get him out of her life—or if she even could, anymore.
"Jake wants to see you, Nikki. He won't settle down until he does,” Mary said into the silence. She glanced across to the window. Twilight was settling in. She had, at best, an hour's light left. Jasper would be up and about.
She closed her eyes, weighing her fear of him against her need to see Jake. It wasn't even close. “I'll be there in twenty minutes."
Hanging up the phone, she returned to her bedroom and got dressed. She strapped on her wrist knives, then hesitated, staring at the floor. If she was going to do this, she had better make sure she could protect herself. And that meant getting something that might deter a vampire. She walked across the room and opened the closet door. Squatting, she dragged out the old cutlery set and took out two knives. They were badly tarnished, but hopefully it wouldn't matter. It was still silver underneath—just how much silver though, she couldn't say. She pushed a knife down each boot, then rose and stamped her feet lightly. The knives might make walking slightly uncomfortable, but she felt better for their presence.
Wait for me.
She ignored Michael's request. Grabbing her coat and car keys, she headed out the door. Jake wanted to see her right now, and that was all that mattered.
The hospital was only a ten-minute drive away, but shadows were crowding the parking lot by the time she stopped the car and climbed out. Jasper wasn't anywhere near, yet something watched her. Something not quite human.>The frantic call pulled at her consciousness. She frowned, unable to move, unable to see, her body a motionless weight tying her down.
Nikki! Listen to me!
Golden light surrounded the stillness around her, freeing her from fear, filling her with peace and an intense need to be one with the light.
NO!
Gentle music washed across her senses. It flooded her cold body with warmth, releasing her from the dark weight of pain holding her captive. Suddenly free, her spirit rejoiced, dancing in radiance as she drifted towards the long golden tunnel.
Stay with me!
Something in that urgent plea made her hesitate, and the call of the golden light muted. Yet she didn't have the strength to go back, didn't have the courage to face the fear and the pain. The honeyed light pulsed, welcoming her, calling...
Nikki, I need you. Don't leave me.
The cry made her heart weep bitter tears. She wasn't worthy of the urgency in that entreaty, wasn't sure she was even capable of understanding it. And it was too late. Far too late. Dancing in brightness, she drifted closer to the light.
Nikki, do you want to live?
Did she? The question echoed through the soft warmth surrounding her. Did she want to live? Images of Michael ran through her mind. Oh yes, she wanted to live. But only with Michael. And that was an impossible dream.
It was too late anyway. The choice had gone.
No! If you trust me, there is a way.
No! Not as a vampire! Better death than a vampire.
Cold steel filled his thoughts. Do you trust me?
Trust was a flickering fire, so easily put out. So few people had earned its warmth after her parents’
death. Only Jake, and he too was dying.
Jake needs you Nikki. I need you.
She closed her eyes against the pain in his entreaty. Michael didn't need her. He didn't need anyone. Maybe that was half her problem. He could walk away, and it wouldn't matter to him. But Jake had to live. He couldn't die because of her.
Come to me Nikki. Let me save you. For Jake's sake, if not for mine. She spun in confusion, afraid to go forward and afraid to go back. The warm light pulsed, healing and calming. She sighed. Here at last was the peace she had searched so long for. It would be so easy to give in to its warmth. Easy, but was it right? She didn't know, and that scared her more than the thought of dying.
Forgive me, Nikki. I can't let you do this.
Something grabbed her soul and yanked her down into darkness. The golden light began to recede. She wept and reached out towards it, a desperate swimmer fighting the tide pulling her away. Her efforts were ignored. The light disappeared, and she was thrust through layers of darkness and gathering pain. Then the red mist enclosed her brain and swept her away.
Chapter Sixteen