It never did.
Confused, I pressed my hand against the bloody wound in my shoulder, trying to stop the flow of blood as I forced myself upright.
Branna was on the ground, blood pouring out of a hand that was now missing several fingers. Jonas bent and picked up Branna’s weapon, his expression giving little away but fury marking every movement.
“You were warned, Branna,” he said, voice flat. “Why do you not ever listen?”
“Because she’s déchet and dangerous! She should be dead, not living so close to us or the damn city.”
Something within me shattered and hardened. No matter what I said, no matter what I did, it was never going to make a difference to these people. If saving Jonas and the lives of five children had made no difference, then nothing would. I was déchet, and that was all they would eve
r see. Jonas and Nuri might overlook it long enough to use me, but their fear and prejudice undoubtedly ran just as deep as Branna’s.
When all this was over, and I was no longer of use to them, they would get rid of me. That was as clear as the sky overhead.
“As the other children should be dead?” Jonas snapped. “Because you know full well that she is our only hope—”
“Then there is no hope,” I cut in harshly.
Jonas’s gaze jumped to mine. It was a weight I felt deep inside, and filled with a fury that was suddenly aimed at me. “What?”
“I said there is no hope.” I clipped the empty gun to my belt, then looked at Nuri. Her expression was an odd mix of surprise and fear. “I can’t do this. I won’t.”
“You are not the type to walk away,” she said, her voice even despite the emotional turmoil I could feel in her. It wasn’t me she feared but rather my walking away. She really did believe I was the only hope to save the remaining eight children. “You can’t.”
“Watch me.” I took a step backward. Then another.
“The children will die, Tiger. I’ve seen this, just as I’ve seen that is something you do not want on your conscience.”
“You’re right, I don’t. I have risked not only my own life to save these five, but the lives of my little ones and those of the déchet. And in gratitude, he”—I flung a bloodied hand in Branna’s direction—“has attempted to kill me not once, but twice. There will not be a third time.”
“I swear to you—,” Jonas began, but I cut him off with a harsh laugh.
“As you vowed only a few hours ago to control him? As he vowed to do me no harm? No,” I said. “You can save your breath and your vows, because I no more believe them than you can believe it is possible for a déchet to be anything more than a mindless killer.”
“Tiger, you have to listen to me—”
“No, I don’t.” My voice was as grim as Nuri’s was urgent. “I’m done listening to you. I’m done helping you. I’ve been drugged, interrogated, had the lives of my ghosts threatened, and now I’ve been shot—and all by the very people who want me to help them. Enough is enough.”
“If you do not help us,” she said, voice grim, “then I will be forced to carry through with my threat and make you.”
“That threat worked before because I had no warning and no time to prepare. That is no longer the case. Believe me, there are still weapons hidden in the bowels of our bunker that have not been seen since the war, and I will unleash them against both you and your city if you ever attempt to harm my little ones.”
She studied me, her arms crossed and determination evident in her gaze. She wasn’t going to let the matter go, no matter what I said—and yet there was also a sense of acknowledgment that I really did mean to walk away, and nothing she or anyone else said would stop that.
The five little ones I’d rescued had gathered around her skirts and were now staring at me, their wide eyes seeing too much, understanding too much. Just like Penny. It made me wonder if they, like her, were somehow connected to the people who’d kidnapped and tortured the children. Made me wonder if it meant that those behind all this would soon know of my decision to walk away. Would it make any difference? Would it mean the vampires would stop attacking our home and leave us alone?
Maybe. Maybe not.
I doubted such peace was worth the lives of eight children, though.
“What we need to do is report her damn presence to the authorities,” Branna growled. “They can go in and raze the place, just in case there’s more of them hidden there.”
“There is no one else. With Sal dead, I am now the last of my kind. But go ahead and report my presence—it’s undoubtedly what you planned to do once all this was over anyway.” My gaze went to Jonas’s. “Because, hey, I’m not human and I’m not a shifter. I’m just a monster with no feelings or thoughts of my own, and therefore undeserving of consideration or life.”
There was no emotion visible on Jonas’s face. No acknowledgment of my words. Why I even expected there to be, I wasn’t entirely sure, given that I was only speaking the lies they wholly believed.
I added softly, “But if there’s one thing you should believe, then it’s the fact that I will do everything within my power to protect my home and my little ones. And anyone who enters that place with ill intent will regret it.”