"What if you had a 'freak' child? It seems like that'd be your worst fear, to get a detrus pregnant."
"Don't ever use that word to describe yourself again. That was my mistake-not seeing that there are differences among the immortals. Good and evil, just like with humans."
"Yeah, well , your realization came too late for me." She shoved away from him, rising to her feet.
With a sigh, he let her go. His skin felt bare and cold without her. all these years avoiding touch, and now he wanted nothing more than to have her warm little body against him.
When she strode over to her clothes, the sight of that na**d arse had him hard all over again. Voice rough, he said, "Stay with me." Had that sounded like a command?
Her back stiffened, then she pulled on her knickers. "Forget it."
Here goes nothing. He exhaled and said, "I am ... sorry."
***
Regin froze. Without turning, she asked, "What did you say?"
He grated, "I'm sorry that I've hurt you repeatedly. And that I hurt ... people you care about."
"An apology?" She faced him. "That must've been difficult."
"I thought I was doing my duty with you. With all immortals. I fol owed my commander's orders blindly."
He scrubbed his hand down his face. "We ... went too far."
That haunted look in his eyes. She was drawn to his pain, wanting to soothe it. Aidan had never needed her. This man before her needed Regin like a lifeline.
"Webb was your commander?" At his nod, she said, "You seemed close to him."
"He was like my father and best friend rol ed into one. He saved my life from a pack of Neoptera. That's what did this to me."
Those creatures were terror personified. She'd suspected, but to hear it confirmed ... "How old were you?"
Instead of answering her, he held out his hand. "I'll only talk about this if you sleep the rest of the night by my side."
"You sound like Lothaire, making everything a transaction."
"Maybe he's right to."
With a rol of her eyes, she sat down a couple feet from him, pul ing her knees up to her bare chest. At once, he yanked her back to his side.
She exhaled, defeated. "How old?"
"I was seventeen."
"That picture you showed me, it was of your parents."
He tensed against her. "Aye."
"I've never heard of anyone surviving a Neo attack."
"Webb saved my life before they finished me."
Finished him. Everything began to make sense. His family had been massacred, he'd been maimed.
And the man who'd saved his life warred against immortals.
"He gave me a reason to keep going. Taught me everything I know."
Meaning he'd been brainwashed, and at such a young age. Declan Chase had never had a chance.
"What will happen with Webb now?"
"If he finds out that I lived and went AWOL, he'l put a bounty on my head." There was a thread of something like grief in Chase's voice.
"That's harsh."
"I ... I almost kil ed him."
"What? Why?"
"He's the one who ordered you vivisected. Hid it from me. He'd learned I was a berserker by then, so he would've known that you were mine." Chase's eyes glowed with menace. "Yet he still hurt you. When La Dorada arrived, I was squeezing the life out of him." His hands fisted even now.
He'd harmed the man he looked upon as a father? Over her? She'd heard his outraged bel ow that night. ..."I am done with the Order, done with Webb. Face it, Regin. You're the only friend I have in the world."
He thinks we're friends? "When did you start to feel differently about me?"
"That night in my bathroom marked the beginning of the end for me. I actual y considered running with you to bloody Belfast. Would you have gone with me then?"
So fast it would've made his head swim. But she didn't need to encourage him. Instead of answering, she brushed his track marks. "What happened here?"
"I used to inject a drug to keep my rage and strength in check. It had an opiate in it as well."
"How long have you been doing it? Some of the marks look old."
"Over a decade." He hesitated, then said, "Before that ... I shot heroin. When I was younger in Belfast."
Oh, gods. "Because you always felt sick inside?" His past lives competing with his present, the nightmares and memories. ...He shrugged, but he didn't deny it.
Then she should have found him as a boy before he got so twisted. Instead of running from Aidan's latest incarnation, she should have protected him. Guilt was like a lead weight over her chest.
How loyal am I? I abandoned Aidan to fate. Left a young Declan Chase at the mercy of the world.
As if sensing her turmoil, he said, "Come now, lass." Whenever Aidan had wanted to look into her eyes, he'd gently cupped her face in his hands. Not so with Declan. He gathered her neck in the crook of his arm and held her steady as he gazed down. "Let's no' talk about that. You're with me now."
Even after everything that had happened, Regin found herself nodding against him, her arm gliding across his deep chest.
"But I want you to understand that I'm not tryin' to replace Aidan. Know I can't. You loved him too bloody much."
I didn't. Not irrevocably. The Valkyrie believed that one of their kind could recognize her eternal mate when he opened his arms and she realized she would forever run to get within them. Regin had been so close to running to Aidan, but she'd fought those feelings. "I ... didn't love him." Hadn't allowed myself to.
"What? Why didn't you fal for him?"
"I needed him body and soul, but my heart was still my own."
Chase stared up at the sky, and the corners of his lips curled. A thousand years ago, Aidan had evinced that same expression. Anticipation. "Then, Valkyrie, it's still mine to win."
In time, his breaths deepened, and he passed into sleep. As Regin watched, his eyes began to dart behind his lids, his arm tightening around her.
He's dreaming. Her own eyes well ed with tears as she whispered, "Shh, be at ease. ..."
Chapter FORTY-SEVEN
She can't remain on the battlefront with me, Edward thought, his gaze fol owing Regin as she paced his tent. Wending around his myriad weapons, she trailed her fingers over the waist jacket and crested helmet of his cavalry uniform.
Her lovely visage was drawn, her ethereal glow lighting the interior. Already his soldiers thought she was a witch who'd entranced him.
She couldn't remain with him-and he couldn't part from her. Which meant he'd be going into her world, he hoped as her husband. Yet the Valkyrie was proving ... recalcitrant.