He climbed slowly to his feet.
“Okay,” he said, and held out his hand. His hand and arm trembled. Tom’s trembled too as he handed over the knife.
Benny stood behind the zombie, and it took six or seven tries before he could bring himself to touch her. Eventually he managed it. Tom guided him, touching the spot where the knife had to go. Benny put the tip of the knife in place.
“When you do it,” said Tom, “do it quick. ”
“Can they feel pain?”
“I don’t know. But you can. I can. Do it quick. ”
Benny closed his eyes and the old image was there. The white blouse, the red sleeves. Not red cloth. Blood. It had been blood. He took a ragged breath and said, “I love you, Mom. ”
He did it quick.
And it was over.
He dropped the knife, and Tom gathered him up, and they sank down to their knees together on the kitchen floor, crying so loud that it threatened to break the world. In the chairs the two dead people sat slumped, their heads tilted toward each other, their withered mouths silent.
The sun was tumbling behind the edge of the mountain by the time they left the house. Together they’d dug graves in the backyard. Tom locked up the house and then relocked the chain on the front gate. Side by side they walked back the way they came.
“On First Night,” Benny began, “all those years ago. I remember Mom with red sleeves. I remember her screaming. I remember you taking me and running. I looked back and saw Dad behind her. ”
“Yes,” said Tom. “All of that happened. ”
“The red sleeves … she’d already been bitten. By Dad. Hadn’t she?”
Tom’s voice was a ghost. “Yes. She’d seen what happened when Dad got bitten. She was smart, she understood. She wanted us safe. Maybe she could already feel the change inside. The hunger. I don’t know. But she begged me to take you, to save you. To run. ” He buried his face in his hands, and his whole body trembled with that terrible memory and all the years of grief.
“I … You saved me. ”
Tom said nothing.
“And all these years you knew that I hated you. That I thought you were a coward. Why didn’t you ever tell me?”
Tom raised his head and dragged a forearm across his eyes. “By the time you were old enough to be told, you already believed your version of it. Tell me, Ben, if I had told you the truth, would you have believed me? If we had never come out here, would you have believed me?”
Benny slowly shook his head.
“So I waited. ”
“God … that must have been hard. ”
Tom shrugged. “I knew that one day we’d come here. But when we got here … you knew, didn’t you? When did you figure it out?”
Benny sniffed and wiped his eyes. “Since … since we got back from Harold Simmons’s house. When I was sitting on the back porch all that time. I figured it out. I just didn’t want it to be the truth. I didn’t ever want to come here. ”
Tom nodded. “Neither did I. But you do understand that we had to, right?”
“Yes,” whispered Benny. “Because we needed closure, too. ”
Benny still held the knife. He’d cleaned the blade, but he gripped the ribbed handle with a tight fist.
“Can I keep this?” Benny asked, holding out the knife.
“Why?” his brother asked.
Benny’s eyes were puffy from crying, but they were dry. “I guess I’ll need it,” he said.