Tears pricked the backs of her eyes, but she refused to give in to her pregnancy hormones. She blinked back the moisture. She refused to let Luca see how much his words hurt her.
“You might not love me, but you can’t say the same about your family.”
“I don’t need them, either. Why do you think I can’t be happy alone?”
“Because I believe that everyone needs somebody. I have to believe that, otherwise...” She stopped as her emotions threatened to overtake her.
“Otherwise what?” His intent gaze studied her as though trying to ferret out the truth.
She swallowed hard. “Otherwise you won’t be able to love our child.”
He didn’t say a word. Not one syllable. Instead he turned to stare out at the sea.
That’s it! She had tried to be understanding, but she’d had enough of his stubborn attitude. If he couldn’t meet her halfway, she was done.
“You know, you don’t have to face the world alone.” She held back from saying that she would stand by his side through anything. “Your family would rally around you if you’d let them in. That’s what families do.”
He turned to her. His eyes were dark, and his stance was rigid. “And what makes you think I need their help?”
“A better question is how are you supposed to be a loving parent to our baby if you never let anyone in?”
“Stop saying that.” He stared at her as though shocked that she would say these things to him. “I do let people in.”
“No, you don’t.” She didn’t know why she bothered. He’d counted on himself for so long now that he didn’t know any other way to be. “I give up. I love you, but obviously that’s never going to penetrate the wall around your heart.”
He looked at her, but he didn’t say anything. This was where he should profess his love for her, too. And yet there was nothing but a stony silence.
Though it was breaking her heart, she just couldn’t imprison him or herself in a one-sided marriage. She knew he would stay out of obligation, and if she didn’t walk out that door right now, he would be miserable for the rest of his life. And she loved him too much to do that to him.
“I can’t do this anymore.” She turned for the door.
“Where are you going?”
“At last, you speak. If you must know, I’m going to my parents’ for dinner. They invited us both, but I can’t imagine that you would want to go. I’ll give them your regrets.” She continued to the door. And then she paused and turned. “I guess this is goodbye.”
“Goodbye?”
“Yes. Tomorrow I’m returning to Paris. I’ll email you with any important information about the baby. Goodbye, Luca.”
She turned and headed out the door while she could still maintain a dignified expression. Because that had been the hardest thing she’d ever done in her life. Her heart felt as though it had been ripped from her chest.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
WHAT HAD JUST HAPPENED?
Luca stared at the closed door as he gathered his thoughts. In the heat of the moment, he decided Elena leaving was for the best.
He paced back and forth in the cottage, feeling like a caged animal. Why did everyone in his life keep telling him that he was doing things the wrong way? All he was trying to do was stand on his own two legs. Was that such a bad thing?
Of course not.
He contemplated walking out the door and not stopping. He needed away from the palace and Mirraccino—away from Elena. But for the first time ever, he couldn’t imagine being on his own again. Every time he thought of the future, he saw Elena in it.
The voices of Elena, his father, the king and others echoed in his head. He had to get out of there. He headed for the beach. The sounds of the water, the birds and the breeze were calming. Now he had to unravel this tangled mess, because so much was at stake.
Never before had he had this many people foisting their opinions and advice upon him. All of them wanted him to do this or that, but none asked what he wanted to do.
The last time—the only time—he’d done what he was told, it had been with his mother. He didn’t let himself think of her very often, but her memory filled his mind now. He reached for the chain that hung around his neck, a constant reminder of her—a source of comfort in times of trouble. He removed the chain from his neck and clutched the St. Christopher medal in his palm.