Jillian paused as though giving his statement some thought. “I think it’s more than that.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I think she’s trying to help you.”
“I don’t need her help.”
Jillian arched a brow. “Apparently, aside from baking, you don’t need anyone’s help. Ever.”
“That’s about right.”
She alighted from the barstool and came over to perch on the edge of the recliner. Her gaze searched him. “Avery, that’s no way to live. You have to let people in.”
He shook his head. “Things are just fine as is.”
“You do realize that your brother is gone. Sure, he’ll come back for the occasional holiday, but his life is now in another part of the world. And your sister, she has plans that extend beyond the borders of Marietta.”
“This is their home. I’m fixing it up for Beth.”
“And so you’re going to sacrifice your dreams in order to keep a house that no one wants?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. It just seems so wrong to sell it.”
Avery didn’t like the way her words poked around the very painful part of his life. It was something he’d never shared with anyone. And he didn’t see how revealing his tragic secret would help anything now.
“Avery, talk to me. What aren’t you saying?”
It was as though she was reading his mind. He didn’t like it. He didn’t need her analyzing him and his actions. “Nothing.” When she sent him a disbelieving look, he added, “It doesn’t matter because it won’t change things.”
“It might, if you’d talk about it.”
“Why do you keep pushing this? It won’t undo the damage I’ve done.” And then he realized that in the heat of the moment he’d admitted too much.
Jillian leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. “What have you done?”
He sighed as he raked his fingers through his hair. She was never going to give up now. And he didn’t need her taking any suspicions to his sister.
What if he just told her? It would satisfy her curiosity. And she would have to agree that he was doing the right thing under the circumstances.
Jillian got up and moved to the couch. She sat close by but she didn’t touch him. “Talk to me. You know you can tell me anything.”
Normally he’d agree with her, but this was a festering wound that he’d struggled to hide from the rest of the world. Yet with each word that Jillian said, the scabs were being ripped off and the ugly truth was about to escape.
He swallowed hard as he stared straight ahead at the fire crackling in the fireplace. “Way back before my parents died, I knew I hadn’t lived up to their expectations. They wanted me to be the first person in the family to go to college, but I just wasn’t into learning. Everything I needed to know was at the Crooked S. My mother pleaded with me to do something more constructive with my life, which drove a wedge between us.”
Jillian placed a reassuring hand on his arm. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
“You were the babysitter. How were you supposed to know?”
She withdrew her hand, leaving a cold spot. An awkward silence ensued.
When Avery glanced her way, he found her face pale and her eyes downcast. This really wasn’t his day. Now he’d gone and upset the two most important women in his life.
He swallowed hard.
“I didn’t mean that the way it sounded. You were more than a babysitter.” He struggled to find the right words. “I just meant that my parents tended to keep their opinions private. So they most likely didn’t mention anything in front of you.”
Her posture seemed to relax a bit. “But I’m certain that they loved you very much. That was abundantly obvious.”