The breath caught in his throat. He was in trouble. He didn’t want to encourage this talk. He didn’t have the answers she wanted. He didn’t even know what the answers were.
“Aren’t you even going to look at me?” she asked.
He didn’t want to. He knew he wasn’t going to like what he found. He’d screwed up. Again. He shouldn’t have kissed her. Jillian was different from other women. She wasn’t one to take relationships lightly. When she babysat for his brother and sister, she took it seriously and really cared about them. So much so that she still kept in contact with both of his siblings.
By now, he thought he’d have something substantial to offer her. But none of his attempts to buy the ranch had panned out. And Jillian deserves so much more than this rodeo cowboy could offer her.
“There’s something I need to tell you. I’m leaving town.”
“To go back to the rodeo?”
He nodded. “It’s my last chance to gain the money I need to buy the Crooked S. I’ve tried everything else and nothing has worked out.”
“And when did you decide this?”
“Today.”
He turned his head and his gaze met hers. In the depths of her blue eyes, he found confusion and anger. He knew Jillian wanted a calm stable life, but he wasn’t in a position to offer that to her. Everything about his life was up in the air. “That kiss shouldn’t have happened. It was a mistake.”
Her gaze narrowed. “Well, that makes it all the better.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? If you’re worried about Glenn—”
“I’m not.” And then ever so softly under her breath, Jillian uttered, “She was right.”
“Who was? Right about what?”
“My mother.” Jillian shook her head. “Never mind. It doesn’t matter.”
He had a feeling he’d missed something important, but she’d turned away. He reached out as though to gain her attention but hesitated. The last thing in the world he wanted to do was hurt her. But at this point he still had nothing to offer her. His hand lowered to his side where it brushed against Romeo, who’d settled between Avery and Jillian.
He’d never really given much thought to cats. He was a horse man. But he was starting to understand what was so special about cats. They were independent, full of personality, and caring.
He moved his hand slowly, not sure if Romeo would allow Avery to pet him. To Avery’s surprise, not only did the cat allow him, but Romeo started to purr too. He’d at least won over someone this evening.
When Jillian’s gaze finally met his, she said, “You do have another choice. You could take your sister and brother up on their offer. At least hear them out. You don’t necessarily have to agree with their plan of action, but you need to respect the fact that they love you enough to do this for you.”
She never ceased to amaze him. Even after what they’d just been through, she was still trying to help him. She would make some man an amazing wife.
“I just don’t know if I can do what they want. I don’t feel like I deserve such a big sacrifice.”
“You do deserve it.” She lifted her hand and cupped his cheek. “You are the only one who ever thought the accident had anything to do with you. Everyone else blamed the criminal who was evading the police. They all considered it a horrific accident. Lighten up on yourself.”
Avery’s phone buzzed. He answered it. It was Beth, worried about Marshmallow. He promised to bring the cat right home.
At the doorway, Avery paused. His gaze met Jillian’s once more. With the cat in his arms, he couldn’t do what he wanted to do—pull Jillian close and kiss her again. It was for the best.
Instead, he had to settle for words. “Thank you. For everything.”
“You’ll hear your sister out before you decide anything?”
He nodded. “I will.”
Avery walked away, surprised by the events of the evening. He’d come here certain he knew what was best for everyone. And now he was walking away with Jillian’s words buzzing around in his m
ind. Was she right? Should he let his brother and sister make this sacrifice? And if he were to accept his family’s help, was it too much to think this just might be the necessary step to finally win over Jillian?
Chapter Twenty