Lead (Stage Dive 3)

“What? Do what?”

“One. You need to get out and see other people.” He winced. “You’re obviously not so great at getting hookups, so don’t worry, I’ll help you out with that. Two. Try to focus on my flaws.”

“You want me to follow the list to help me get over my crush on you?”

“Yeah, stop interrupting. This is important. Two. Focus on my flaws.” He gave me a cursory glance. “I don’t see you having any trouble with that one. Three. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, needy and or angry.”

I pushed up my glasses. “I see.”

“Yeah. Honestly, it’s really unattractive, Lena. No one wants to see that shit.”

“R-i-ght.”

“Four. A bunch of them sort of rolled into one here, again. Go out with friends. Try something new. Get fit. Pamper yourself. Have fun. Enjoy life. Go on a trip. Paint your toenails, whatever the f**k. Blah, blah, blah. You get what I mean.”

“Mm.” I nodded.

“That’s pretty much it.”

“And I’m supposed to follow this?”

He gave me a long look. “You said you didn’t really wanna leave, that you liked the job. Prove it.”

I laughed ever so slightly manically. The decision had been made and it hadn’t been an easy one. Backtracking now did not seem wise. “Jimmy, please. It’s just some stupid magazine article probably written by a bored intern on their lunch break. This is not science. It’s not going to fix anything.”

“Then why was it lying open at this page?”

Good question. Strands of black hair hung over his forehead, hanging in his eyes. Without thought, he pushed them back. My fingers itched to do just that, to brush back his hair and sooth his fevered brow. Now that he seemed particularly hot in the temperature sense.

And he thought some wisdom out of a magazine could cure me.

“Never know, Lena. It just might work.” He dropped the magazine in my lap, gaze pinning me to the spot. “And I think you owe it to me to try.”

My chin went up. “I do, huh?”

“I gave you a chance. Gave you this job, and made every effort to accommodate you. Not fair you’d just take off after not even two months without giving it your best shot. You owe me”

“You hired me because you thought I’d be easier to manipulate than another actual counselor and because Mal and David harangued you. Let’s not lose sight of the truth here.”

One thick shoulder rose and fell. “Does it matter? I gave you the job, you said you like the job. Least you can do is give this a chance.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“You do that.” A ghost of a smile touched his lips. “I know all about addictions and wanting things that aren’t good for you, Lena. End of the day, it’s up to you to decide whether to take control and fight it or not.”

Jimmy Ferris as an illegal, dangerous, controlled substance. Funnily enough, I could see it. The man affected me on all the levels no matter how much I tried to resist, damn it.

He headed for the door, closing it slowly behind him. “Night.”

“Night.”

# # #

A bang like a shotgun startled me from sleep. I shot up in bed, blinking into the semi-darkness. What fresh hell was this? A blurry shadow stalked toward me.

“Wha—”

“Get up,” ordered Jimmy. “We’re going jogging.”

“Have you lost your f**king mind?”

“Rise and shine. Day one of your intensive desensitization-to-me program is about to begin.” He threw back the drapes, letting the weak sunlight seep in. “You got tennis shoes, right?”

I fumbled on the bedside table for my glasses and shoved them on my face. The world unblurred. “God, Jimmy. It’s barely past dawn.”

A black Nike flew in my direction. I only just managed to deflect it. “Hey!”

“C’mon. Move it.”

Next came a set of baggy old grey sweats, chucked onto the end of my bed. His lordship was already decked out in all black designer running gear. Ready and raring to go. “You got a sports bra in here somewhere? Girl your size, I’m thinking you’d need one.”

“Get out of my drawer.” I threw back my blankets and stalked over to him. “Do not go through my underwear, you ass**le.”

He ignored me and kept right on burrowing through the drawers. “In my line of work, it’s nothing I haven’t seen before. C’mon. You need to get ready.”

“I repeat, are you insane?”

“Told you, I’m not breaking in another companion, so I’m going to help you help yourself. We’re going to work our way through that little list of yours so you can get past these silly feelings of yours. If anyone can kill a crush, it’s me.”

“You know where you can shove the list. And if you need help, let me just fetch a rubber glove and some lube and I’ll be right with you.”

With a sigh, Jimmy straightened. He held his fisted hand high, slowly uncurling his fingers. Way up high over my head dangled a pretty pair of black silk panties. “Say you’ll go jogging with me and I’ll give them back.”

“I’m so tempted to just punch you in the junk right now and be done with it. I mean, it has to happen sooner or later, right?”

He made no move to cover himself, showed no weakness. Instead, one side of his mouth curled upward and a dimple appeared. My stomach dropped. I’d been right, definitely at least one dimple. He gave the panties in his hand a jiggle. Given my lack of height and Jimmy’s abundance of it, there was no way I could reach them.

“Do you actually expect me to jump around like an idiot?” I asked in a withering tone.

“It would amuse me.”

“Don’t make me kill you at this hour of the morning, Jimmy. It’s not civilized.”

The semi-smile disappeared and he dropped the panties into my waiting hand.

“Thank you.”

“You give the list some thought?” Hands on hips, he stared down at his nose at me.

I had, long and hard, in fact. While getting away from Jimmy might make sense, it also hurt. Guilt snuck in every time. Maybe he and my replacement wouldn’t get along, I mean, Jimmy and I often didn’t get along. But we did it in a way where he stayed sober and on track. So I guess in the main way that mattered, this lopsided partnership was a success.

“What do you want here, Lena?” He rubbed at his temple. “I know you’ve dealt with some dickheads in the past, but that’s not the situation here. I’m not out to do any damage. I just want you to keep doing your job.”