“There is happiness ahead for you, my girl, dark days, too, but you will always carry your loved ones inside you, and even when you cannot hold them they will be in here—” she put her hand to her heart “—and that will help you through. Look to the future, to those days when the sun will shine in your heart.”
Chloris blinked. That’s how it had felt, when she was with Lennox. Like the sun was shining in her heart. From the moment he had unlatched the pearl choker from around her neck, he’d begun to free her of the deepest grief she carried and replace those emotions with something fonder, something happier. Memories to be cherished instead of grieved over.
Unfettered, is what he’d called it. And now she’d been brave enough to come back here and face her history. Had Eithne the gift of future sight? Would the brief happiness she’d known with Lennox over these past weeks stay with her always, even though it was over now?
Yes, it would. Just as the love she had for her family was locked in her heart and her memory. For a moment she felt Eithne’s warm embrace—like a promise.
Then it was gone.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Somehow Chloris made it through the rest of the day. The memory of Eithne stayed with her, warming her. She even managed to be convivial during dinner. Once she was alone in her chamber—and after the servant turned down her bed covers and retired for the night—her emotions grew tangled again. It was because she had lain here with Lennox. His presence still lingered, it always did. She looked about the room, the one she’d always had at Torquil House. The familiar damask curtains and the solid wooden furniture were anchors in her turmoil, but it was him she ached for.
Then, as she undressed and reached for her nightgown, she was reminded of Lennox’s horror when he thought that she was a weak woman, despised by her husband. It was to be expected, she concluded. The women of Saint Andrews that Lennox consorted with were no doubt much stronger than she. They would keep their husbands happy and seek a secret affair bravely. Or they were witches, strong women who upheld their beliefs when all around people feared and condemned them. Nevertheless, she’d had a true taste of passion, happiness and forbidden love. There was no love in her marriage, and to partake of it outside of her marriage was a sin.
Yet these had been the happiest moments of her life.
It was over now. She sat on the edge of her bed in her nightgown and considered the fact that she might never see Lennox again. The ache in her chest was so great that when she lay down she thought she would die of it.
She buried her face in her pillow, her thoughts running back and forth over what had been said and why it had troubled her so.
“Chloris?”
It was a whisper so quiet, so gently inquiring, that she thought she’d imagined it at first. Rolling onto her side she peered into the gloom. The door clicked shut.
Lennox stood there in the shadows by the door, just as he had that first night.
It wasn’t the same as before, though. Strangely enough, this time it felt almost natural that he had come to her, and when he stepped past the fireplace and the light from the embers caught his expression, it was a very different man that she saw before her. Troubled, just as she was, if not more so. The knot in her chest unraveled, threatening to unleash a barrage of tears.
“Lennox.” As she rose to face him she battled the urge to run into his arms.
Before she could leave the bedside he closed the gap between them in fast strides and dropped to his knees before her. Grasping one of her hands, he drew it to his lips and kissed her palm. “Forgive me, I had to see you.”
Chloris stared down at his now familiar head and stroked his hair distractedly. The way he approached—the yearning she felt—all of it threatened her unsteady emotions. “You shouldn’t have risked coming here again. You should never have risked it.”
He looked up at her, eyes glittering in the candlelight. “The only thing I shouldn’t have done was be angry. I am in no position to judge. Can you forgive me?”
Chloris inhaled slowly. “There is nothing to forgive, your reaction was understandable.”
“Understand
able?” He looked dismayed. Rising to his feet, he held her gently by the shoulders. She noticed that his hair was tousled, his shirt neck open. “That is why you hid yourself from me, isn’t it, because you expect people to be upset by the sight of it?”
She nodded.
“No, Chloris. I was upset because I felt it, just as you had, when I touched you.”
“No.” Could it be true?
He nodded, then leaned into her, kissing her forehead gently. His voice grew quieter still. “Our connection is deep.”
Why did that make her ache so? Words were so easy for him. Seduction was his way of life. To hear such a thing and wonder if it was true tortured her.
“I could not bear to witness the images of him doing that to you,” he added.
She closed her eyes. “I’m sorry. It was wrong of me to involve you in my...situation. I tried to keep it to myself. Our time together was so precious to me that I indulged. I let it last longer than it should have.”
His mood changed instantly. Grasping her shoulders more tightly he looked into her eyes. “Don’t say that. We both wanted it, every moment of it.”