Strong Enough to Love (Jackson Hole 1.20)

“You wish.”

Grace smiled. “So you’ll come?”

“Fine,” Eve huffed.

“Good.”

She waved Grace into the truck, vaguely remembering the invitation now. She’d been forgetful lately. Somehow she’d been shrinking further and further into herself, seeing everything through a camera filter, pretending that was life.

But it wasn’t life. Not yet anyway. Maybe she’d better give it the old college try before she gave up completely. Maybe she should flirt with a few cowboys and see what happened. Then again, the last time she’d had sex it had been so resoundingly mediocre it had turned her off for months. Thank God Mitch hadn’t been friends with any of her friends. She’d ignored his calls and never seen him again.

But it had been almost a year now. Eve grimaced and squeezed her eyes shut for a moment. She couldn’t just be celibate forever. Could she?

Not yet. Grace was right. Eve hadn’t put in the time yet. So she’d go to the party and maybe she’d even talk to a few men. For an hour, tops. Just to say she had. Then she’d hurry home to feel sorry for herself in a hot bath.

A few more years of that kind of effort and she could respectfully retire into spinsterhood and never date again.

* * *

OR SHE COULD give up on dating starting tonight.

She couldn’t imagine where Mitch had come from or why he was at Jenny’s party, but there was no avoiding him, because he’d cornered her near the doorway of the tiny apartment and he was making a concerted effort to reconnect.

This town was too damn small. She’d have to be more careful. If she wanted to scratch an itch, she should do it with men who’d just come to town to ski. They moved on in the spring like migrating wildebeests.

“Oh, there’s Jenny!” she said, latching on to the perfect excuse to escape. “I need to say happy birthday!”

“Wait.” Mitch reached out as if he’d grab her arm, but pulled back before he touched her. He looked down at his own hand before he let it drop. “I had a really good time when we went out, Eve. I thought you did, too.”

“I did,” she said in a rush. “Of course I did.”

“Right. So I think maybe the...after...was maybe slightly awkward?”

Oh, God. Eve felt her face heating. No. This wasn’t happening. She shook her head.

“You didn’t call me later, and... Well, I think I mentioned I’d just gotten out of a relationship, and it had been a while since I’d dated.”

She shook her head again, more frantically this time, and held up her hands in desperation. “Mitch, it’s okay. It was fine. It just wasn’t the right connection.” She wished she could melt through the wall and be outside and free.

“But what if it was? When we got to your place, I was nervous. I admit it. We both were. But before that, I had a great time. You’re funny and smart. It felt natural.”

She nodded, trying to give in just enough to give herself room to escape.

“I’d really like to see you again,” he pressed. “We could get to know each other a little better this time. Not rush things.”

She wanted to say no. She wanted to dodge to the side and dart past him to break free of this awful awkwardness. Surely he could feel it. But he wanted to go on a date? How could he even ask?

Then again...as much as she wanted to say no, she had to admit that the guy was brave. And up-front. And honest. That alone stopped her mouth from forming the word no.

He was also right. Everything else had been nice, which was how they’d ended up in bed together after their second date. A terrible mistake. She’d remembered the problem as him being awkward, but she couldn’t deny his claim that they’d both been nervous. He’d managed to power through and finish the job. Eve most decidedly had not.

She tried to relax her face when she realized she was cringing at the memory of that uncomfortable goodbye. She’d regretted that night so much, but mostly for reasons that had nothing to do with him.

He watched her patiently, one eyebrow tipped up in slightly sardonic awareness of how strange this was. “Maybe?”

“Maybe. Yes. Okay,” she stammered. “Call me. Maybe we can meet for lunch this time instead of dinner?”

His face broke into a slow, wide smile, and Eve remembered why she’d agreed to go out with him in the first place.