“No, I’m good. I just need a break, you know?”
“A break from what?” her friend pressed.
Grace wiped the tears from her cheeks and raised her gaze to the deep blue sky to stop any more from falling. She let her head fall to rest against the corner post. “I don’t know. Struggling. Fighting everything. I just want it to be easier.”
“Come to Dallas,” Merry said with such urgency that Grace laughed.
“No, I’m good here. I’m working. I’m saving money. I go to Vancouver in a few weeks. I’ll start over there. I’m almost thirty now. I can’t be pissed off and rebellious my whole life. It’s not as charming once your tattoos start to sag.”
“You’re not saggy.”
“No, but I will be. And I’ll hopefully have more to my name by then than a makeup kit and three pairs of black boots. Oh, and I also own a coffeemaker,” she said, hating that she felt pride at something so stupid.
“I’m worried about you,” Merry said softly.
“Don’t be worried. Nothing’s ever broken me. You know that. And nothing ever will. I promise.”
“I knew you should’ve left Scott a long time ago. I can’t believe he just threw you out. And—”
“This is a good thing, Merry. I’m enjoying this new work. It gives me more options. Everything’s good.”
“All right.” Merry sighed. “While you’re there, try out a few more things. Cowgirl. Rodeo queen.”
“Rodeo clown!” Grace shouted, then looked around, startled by her own outburst.
“Hell, yeah!” a cowboy said from the far side of the saloon porch, but he was already bleary-eyed with drink, and his friends didn’t even glance at her.
“So are you going to go back to L.A. eventually?”
“I don’t know. I thought I was done with it. But I feel better about it here. Maybe it’s the distance. Or maybe it’s just that I’m out of the makeup trailer. I don’t feel cornered. Or it’s because I’m bringing something to them instead of them directing me.”
“You don’t like being bossed? Is that what this is about?”
Grace collapsed into laughter
, swinging her feet against the weeds growing under the porch. “Maybe.”
“God, you are a hot mess.”
“Maybe,” she said, laughing.
“But I love you.”
That sobered her up every time Merry said it. Merry’s life had been nearly as unstable as Grace’s. The big difference being that Merry’s mom had always been there. She even tried to take care of Grace when she visited. So Merry was used to saying that. Grace wasn’t.
“Me, too,” she said.
“Chicken,” Merry said softly.
“Whatever. You’re just trying to distract me, anyway. We need to address the problem of these penises you can’t seem to get near.”
Merry laughed, and everything was normal again, thank God. “You make it sound like I’m chasing them around the neighborhood.”
“Why aren’t you?”
“I’m no good with guys. Not like you are.”
“Oh, Jesus.” Grace sighed. “If you think I’m good with men, you’re further gone than I thought.”