“Yeah.” He nodded. “Yeah. Fuck, yeah. Let’s do it.” His lips slammed onto mine.
When he pulled away, he was smiling. “Thanks for making me feel better.”
I returned his smile. “Anytime.” My eyes searched his, and I took a deep breath. “Did you mean what you said to your dad on the phone, by the way, or was that just to rile him up?”
One eyebrow pulled up. He gave me a knowing grin. “Oh, yeah. I meant it, boyfriend. We might be taking things slow, but I only want you.”
“And I sure as hell don’t want anyone else.”
“That’s settled, then.” His smile turned satisfied. “I think we need to celebrate our new relationship status.”
“Yeah? What did you have in mind?” My words faded to a hoarse whisper, as his mouth went to my throat.
Drawing back, he licked his lips, slowly, deliberately, as his heated gaze ran over my body.
He reached down to the waistband of my sweatpants.
“I have a few ideas…”
11
NOVEMBER
“Morning.” Preston’s fingers brushed mine as he passed me on the front steps of Alstone High, where I was standing with Carter and Xavier.
“Morning.” This was going to be harder than I thought. I hadn’t seen him since I’d left his place on Saturday, before his parents came home. He seemed to understand my need for space, to process everything that had happened. Before Halloween I was Kian Courtland, Alstone High’s resident fuck-up and disappointment to my parents. Now, I was still me, but Preston had managed to work his way under my skin, and I’d somehow ended up with a boyfriend. I’d been raging at my dad when I’d told him Preston was my boyfriend, and the words had just come out without any conscious thought, but as soon as I said them, I meant them. What was the point in denying it? I wanted him, he wanted me and there was no reason to pretend otherwise. I knew he had his doubts about whether I wanted to get into a relationship so quickly, but the truth was, from the second I’d kissed him, I knew he was different. Before that, even, if I was being honest with myself. No one had ever affected me the way he did, and the truth was, being with him felt so fucking right, that I couldn’t even consider not being with him. Not after Friday night.
Staring after him, I watched him enter the building, and all I wanted was to go with him. Hold his hand, announce to the world that he was mine.
But I couldn’t do it.
It was too fucking hard.
My attention was off all morning. I was on edge, my head pounding. Were people looking at me differently? Did they know? What would happen if I told everyone I was bi?
The second I sat down in the cafeteria at lunchtime, Preston’s eyes met mine, and I could tell he knew I was on the verge of panic. I couldn’t breathe—I needed to get away. Smoke, drink, smash something up…anything to stop my brain from overthinking, twisting me in these knots that wouldn’t go away.
“Kian.” His voice was soft but commanding, and the table went silent, looking between us. “Are we still training over lunch?”
Carter cut in, which was good because at that moment I seemed to have lost the ability to speak. “Since when are you two friends?”
Preston glanced at him, then back to me. His eyes were dark and worried, but a small smile briefly curved over his lips, and yeah, I wanted to kiss him right then. “I don’t know if ‘f
riends’ is exactly the word I’d use…but we’ve come to a…uh…an understanding. Right, Kian?”
Pulling my lip ring between my teeth, I nodded mutely, and Carter raised a brow. “Miracles do happen, after all.”
There was a ringing in my ears. Preston said something about me showing him some of my tricks on the pitch, but I couldn’t concentrate on anything. I needed to get out of here, to catch my breath.
“Kian.” Preston’s voice cut through the white noise, and I stared at him. “Want to go now?”
My lunch was forgotten as I grabbed my bag and stood and began walking towards the doors. Behind me, I heard the scrape as Preston pushed his chair back, and someone calling me a “moody bugger,” but I ignored all that. I needed to get out of there. Now.
Preston caught up with me as I was stalking across the quad. “Follow me.” He led me through the school grounds towards the gym, but instead of heading inside, he took me around the back, where we were finally alone. Stopping, he dropped his bag to the floor and leaned against the wall, his hands in his pockets. The breeze ruffled his blond hair as he scuffed his toe against the floor. “Are you okay? Are you having second thoughts about us?”
My eyes flew to his, seeing the concern and apprehension written all over his face. He wouldn’t look at me.
“Golden Boy.” Dropping my own bag, I stopped in front of him. I took a deep breath, filling my lungs with much-needed air, before I cupped his chin in my hand, forcing him to look at me. Planting my other hand on the wall next to him, I ran my thumb across his jaw. “There’s no fucking way I’m giving you up.”