Avery raised a brow expectantly, folding her hands in her lap and giving me her full attention.
I laughed at the expression on her face. “It’s nothing, really. Ed and I offered to get everyone coffees on Wednesday afternoon. In the spirit of putting everything behind us, and all that, I made Luke’s. I took it over to him and he said ‘thanks’ in a really soft voice and gave me this intense look. Oh, Aves. I can’t even describe it, but it made me catch my breath. It…it…” I fumbled around for words. “It was so longing. My heart started racing, and I didn’t know what to do.”
“Did he say anything else?”
“No. I was so shaken by the look he’d given me that I kind of ran
away.” My mouth twisted. “I don’t know what it meant, but it made me feel things I shouldn’t be feeling, not when I’m starting to move on.”
Avery pursed her lips, deep in thought. “Okay. Here’s my take on it. He still has feelings for you, only, he’s got so good at denying them to himself, they only appear when he’s been caught off guard.”
I huffed out a frustrated breath. “If that’s the case, I wish he wouldn’t. How am I meant to move on properly?”
“Liv.” Avery’s serious tone had my eyes flying up to meet hers. “Do you still want to be with him?”
Deep down, I knew my answer.
I couldn’t, wouldn’t, lie to my best friend.
“Yes.” My voice was small. “But, Aves, I can’t. I can’t risk that heartbreak again. Not only that, he hasn’t given any indication of wanting to be with me again, so there’s no point in talking about the what-ifs. Other than that one moment, he’s been treating me with indifference. I truly believe, in my heart, that he’s moved on.”
As the house lights went down and the familiar opening music of The Lion King began, I pushed all thoughts of Luke way, way, down. He hadn’t cared enough about me to try and make things work, and I had to remember that. He didn’t love me. He was carrying on with his life, and I would do the same.
I let the tiny ember of hope that had sparked to life inside me wink out, until all that remained was darkness.
31
Luke
The evening I’d been dreading had arrived. I sat on Ethan’s sofa, placing my head in my hands.
“Mate.” Ethan patted me on the shoulder. “Start at the beginning and tell us what happened.”
Sighing heavily, I stared between him and Alex, knowing they wouldn’t drop it. I began to speak, my voice halting, giving them a rundown of the situation, ending with the messed-up night at the bar. Fuck, explaining it all again—I sounded so irrational.
When I got to the part where Olivia had sobbed in Avery’s arms, my voice cracked and I had to stop. Breathing deeply, I tried to get myself under control. Alex took over for me, telling Ethan what he’d seen.
“This is a mess.” Ethan pinched the bridge of his nose in distress. “Mate, you need to talk about it. If not to us or to Liv, maybe a trained professional.”
“Fuck that,” I growled. “I don’t need to see anyone.”
“Alright, it was only a suggestion.”
I buried my head in my hands again and heard Ethan speak to Alex in a low tone.
“Drink this.” Ethan handed me a glass of amber liquid. “Delny’s finest single malt, aged for thirty years.”
Delny. Another reminder of Liv. Pain arrowed through me, and it took a little while for my brain to catch up, but when it did, I was temporarily taken aback. “Hang on, this stuff costs a bomb. You sure you want to drink it now?”
Ethan shrugged. “I’ve been saving it for a special occasion. I think this calls for it.”
“Hardly a special occasion,” I muttered but raised the glass to my lips. “Bloody hell, Eth. This is amazing.”
“It sure is,” he agreed, raising his own glass. Alex joined him, and the three of us clinked our glasses together.
“Cheers.” Alex grinned, saluting us with his tumbler.
All too soon my glass was empty, and Ethan was quick to pour another. The whisky worked its magic, calming and soothing me, and I began to relax.