“Shit.” I reeled back, stunned by the revelation.
Alex and Ethan turned to me, identical expressions of concern marring their features.
“What is it?”
“I think I might love Olivia.”
“You only just worked it out?” Alex shook his head, despair written all over his face. “I could’ve told you that weeks ago.”
“What do I do? How do I begin to fix this?”
“Let go of your anger and bitterness, and don’t let your past cloud your judgement. Remember, she loves you. It won’t be easy—you broke her heart when you ended things with her—but don’t lose sight of that fact.” Ethan looked at me steadily, conviction in his eyes.
“Okay. I can try. I just hope she’ll let me explain.”
“Course she will, mate.” Alex grinned. “You love each other.” He shrugged, as if it were that simple. Slapping his thighs, he stood. “Right. I dunno about you boys, but I need another drink. Let’s watch Die Hard.”
“I messed everything up, Martha.” My voice fractured. Sitting on the cold grass next to her grave, I allowed the chill to seep into me, right through my bones. Placing the flowers I’d brought with me down, I touched a hand to the smooth headstone, tracing the lines of her name.
“I wish you were still here,” I continued. “I could do with your advice.” Shuffling on the ground, I pulled my knees up to my chest, resting my forehead on my arms. “I got scared and I panicked, and ended up losing the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Olivia gave me the gift of her love, and I threw it back in her face.” Ethan’s words echoed through me. “I know I need to let go of the past. I love her, and I want to be with her. All I can do is try my hardest to be a better man, and hope and pray that she gives me a chance to explain.”
And I was going to give it everything. I had the woman I loved to win back.
32
Olivia
“This is going to be so hard, Aves. Seeing Luke. I mean, seeing him in the first place will be difficult enough, outside a professional working environment, not to mention I haven’t seen him in the office at all this week since he’s been working remotely. But seeing him looking so good, in a suit…no doubt with another woman…”
“Hang on—what makes you think he’s going to be there with someone else?”
“Have you seen him?” I sighed, sadness filling me. “He’s so sexy, he won’t have any trouble finding a date.”
Avery scrutinised my reflection in the full-length mirror that leaned against the wall in the corner of my bedroom. “Yes, but do you think he wants to bring anyone else, Liv? I know you don’t want to hear it, but he’s still cut up over you, from the bits I’ve heard from Ethan.”
“Ha. Well, he ripped my heart out, so anything he feels is his own fault. I just wish I didn’t feel anything for him. I
wish…I wish I’d never started working at Barrett London.” I applied mascara to my lashes with a shaking hand, frowning at myself unhappily.
“No, you don’t wish that. You wouldn’t have met me, or Eddie, for a start.”
“That’s true. Okay, I wish I’d never let myself fall for Luke Davenport.”
“Oh, Liv.”
“And, Aves, do you know what? Thinking about it, I’m still angry with him, too. How dare he treat me like that?” I huffed in frustration, before gathering myself. “I’m sorry—I know you’ve heard enough about him to last a lifetime. I guess I must be more worried about seeing him tonight than I realised.”
Avery stepped closer to the mirror, slipping a pair of diamond studs into her ears. “Never, ever apologise. And I’d much rather you said how you were feeling than keep it all bottled up inside. Luke’s a fool. He should never have let you go.”
“It was hard for him.” My voice was only just above a whisper, my anger gone as quickly as it had appeared.
“I know, Liv, but he treated you horribly. There’s no excuse for the way he acted.”
Smoothing my dress down, I twisted to try to see the back in the mirror. “I need to mentally prepare myself for this. I’m not sure I’m going to be able to face him without falling apart.”
“You can. I’m going to be there with you, every step of the way.”
She bit her lip, unsure. “Uh…I’m not sure if I should tell you this…I know Ethan and Alex had a bit of a heart-to-heart with him the evening we went to the theatre. Ethan didn’t give me any of the details, and I didn’t ask, but he did say it was pretty emotional for Luke.”