Saturday night. Our rescheduled date. I could see the waiter hovering, no doubt deciding whether to come back over to me for the third time. Glancing at my phone, I sent another message to Ethan, asking him where he was, even though my previous message had gone unanswered. I beckoned the waiter over and ordered a glass of champagne, since the restaurant only offered wine by the bottle. As soon as the waiter had left, relief all over his face, I stood and walked into the foyer to try calling Ethan.
The phone rang until his answering service kicked in, but I decided not to leave a message, since he’d see my texts and missed call when he saw his phone. I was beginning to feel worried—what if something had happened to him?
Back in the restaurant, I sipped my champagne, drumming my fingers on the table. As I finished the glass, I realised almost an hour had passed since the time we were due to meet, and I couldn’t shake the worry that had settled deep in the pit of my stomach. If Ethan was just running late, surely he would have sent me a message to let me know. I beckoned the waiter over again and asked for the bill. Leaving a generous tip for wasting his time, making the glass of champagne the most expensive one I’d ever purchased in my life, I hurried out into the street, lifting my phone to my ear to try calling Ethan again. If there was no answer I was going to try going to his apartment and beg the concierge to help me.
“Avery!” The urgent shout came from behind me, and I spun around, almost dropping my phone. I rushed to Ethan, throwing myself into his arms, his wool coat scratchy against my cheek.
“Are you okay? I’ve been so worried, thinking something had happened to you.” My voice was shaky, and I gripped onto his arms tightly to reassure myself he was really there.
“I’m so, so sorry.” His dark gaze was full of remorse. “I got caught up with work, and I lost track of the time.”
I stumbled backwards, staring at him in shock. “You mean to say that there was nothing wrong with you? You were working?”
“Yes. I have no excuse for my behaviour. As soon as I realised the time, I got a cab straight here.”
There was a pounding in my ears, and I gritted my teeth. “Is your phone working?”
“Yes. But, Aves, I thought it would be better if I spoke to you in person to explain.”
“Ethan. I sent that first text to you forty minutes ago. And yet, you didn’t find it necessary to reply,” I bit out.
“My phone was on silent. How many times can I apologise?”
I stared at him, resigned, knowing what had to be done. “Not enough. Look, I don’t think this is going to work out between us.”
He scrubbed a hand over his face. “No, don’t say that. I want to be with you. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, and I know you feel the same. This is the first time this has happened, and I’ll make sure it’s the last.”
“It’s not enough.” This is so hard. “Ethan, it’s not just about tonight. Yes, you haven’t stood me up before, but you’ve cancelled or rearranged almost every one of our plans.”
“That’s not true.”
“It is. Think about it.”
He looked at me, pensive, then his face dropped. “Fuck, I’m so sorry. You’re right. How can I make this better? I don’t want to lose you.”
“I can’t come second to your work all the time,” I said sadly. “I know how much your company means to you, but you’re not allowing yourself time for us. Time for me. I’m sorry. As much as I like you, and I do really, really like you, I don’t think I can do this anymore.” My voice cracked, and I bit my lip, trying to stop my tears from falling.
“Please don’t cry. I’ll try harder.” His agonised tone cut straight through me. He reached to put his arms around me, and I took a step back.
“I can’t. Please don’t,” I begged, my voice barely above a whisper. “It’s better this way. Let me go.”
His face fell, and I couldn’t bear it. “If that’s what you think is best,” he said in a low voice. We looked at one another, sadness clear in his eyes, and I leaned up, placing my lips on his for the briefest of kisses, one last time. It hurt, a real, physical pain, but it was for the best.
“Goodbye, Ethan.”
I cried myself to sleep that night.
16
Ethan
Padding barefoot into the kitchen after a night tossing and turning, I made myself a coffee, then sat at my kitchen island, the newspaper open in front of me. The words blurred before my eyes as I found myself unable to concentrate, my mind consumed with thoughts of Avery.
Where did it all go wrong? Was I really so caught up in my work that I couldn’t manage to find time for the one woman I wanted to have a relationship with? The stubborn, unique, beautiful woman that I was falling for. The woman that was starting to mean everything to me.
I needed answers.
I picked up my phone and sent a message to the group chat I had with my two best mates, Alex and Luke.