Blood rushes in my ears like a roar.
The men usher me out of the building, retracing the path we took to reach Damian’s office. We’re walking down the same hallways we traversed not that long ago, but somehow, everything and nothing has changed.
I may no longer be considered a prisoner. But under the protection of Hale and his friends, I’m still a captive.
I know I shouldn’t have expected to be let free after meeting with Damian, but a foolish part of me hoped for it. Zaid said something in the kitchen the night Brian was killed that made me think he and Lucas would look the other way if I tried to run again—that they’d let me go if that’s what I wanted. But I couldn’t accept the opening they gave me, because it could’ve gotten them killed.
And it probably would’ve gotten me killed too, in the end. I’ve seen firsthand the lengths Damian will go to, how determined he can be in the pursuit of someone who’s betrayed him. If I ran, I’d never be safe.
Not even witness protection would prevent him from finding me. Though Damian may be willing to accept—for now—that I had nothing to do with my father’s actions, I still know too much about his organization to ever be released into “normal” life, completely free of their watch.
For the rest of my life, I’ll be tied to the Novak Syndicate.
As I slide into the back seat of the car between Lucas and Zaid, the smallest flicker of relief washes through me. Did I even want a different outcome?
As ashamed as I am to even think about it, I don’t know if I truly wanted to leave. How would I have reacted if Damian tried to put me under the protection and control of someone else, rather than Hale and his friends?
How would I have moved on if I had been set free?
I expect Hale to get in behind the wheel, but instead, Ciro takes the driver’s seat. Hale doesn’t even get into the car.
“You’re not coming with us?” I ask.
“I have business with my father. I’ll see you back at the house.”
He taps the top of the car once, then steps back as Zaid rolls up the window. As Ciro pulls out of the alleyway, we leave Hale behind in the darkness, consumed by fog and shadows.
The drive through Chicago’s lamp-lit streets seems different somehow, even though I try to remind myself that nothing much has changed in the wake of Damian’s verdict. I’ll continue living with the four men, just like I have been. On the surface, my situation now is exactly the same as it was this morning.
But it feels so much different.
Because now it’s permanent.
“You know,” Zaid says slowly, glancing down at me. I know he can sense my change in mood, and he’s just trying to lighten things up. But honestly, I’m too tired for any of it. I don’t want to be cheered up. I want my warm bed back at home. Sleep. Oblivion. “Maybe this will just be like old times.”
I jerk my gaze toward his, catching a smirk on his lips.
“Remember that time Camilla and Samuel had to go out of town and you stayed with us?” Lucas says, drawing my attention. “The one where we—“
“Gave drugs to a minor?” I interrupt, cocking an eyebrow. “Yeah, I remember that time.”
Despite the heaviness in my stomach, a small smile creeps across my face at the memory. My dad and mom had left town on mafia business, and somehow it was arranged that I would stay with the Novak family for the weekend.
I had wanted to go with my parents so badly. They were headed to New
York, and I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t allowed to go. So the twins ended up showing up at Hale’s house with Ciro, determined to cheer me up.
With a joint.
“You got so fucking high,” Zaid says, body brushing against mine as he chuckles.
“Yeah, because I was like, fourteen!” My cheeks heat at the memory of that night. I haven’t thought about it in a long time. “I’d never smoked before. I had no idea it would hit me so hard.”
“Neither did we.” Lucas grins. “We took care of you though, didn’t we? And you had fun?”
“Yes,” I admit grudgingly, my lips curving up a little more. “And… yes.”
At that age, I was too young to really question the feelings I had for the guys. I craved their attention, even then, but it hadn’t turned into something stronger, more visceral. It was just fun to be the center of four guys’ attention in a big-ass house. The twins always loved to have a good time, and that was back before Ciro became closed-off and passive.