I just wasn’t afraid anymore. I was done following along blindly as decisions were made for me because I was scared to step out of line.
There was only one thing I truly feared now.
And I would do everything in my power to make sure it never came to pass.
Five
After enduring a long and pointless lecture from Dean Clavier about the importance of maintaining my decorum and reputation, and about how I needed to think about my future, I was finally dismissed.
“You’ll fit in here again soon enough, Cordelia,” he said to me as I left, patting me on the shoulder as he ushered me out the door.
His words haunted me as I went through the rest of the day in a daze, clenching and unclenching my sore hand as I walked through the halls.
Maybe he was right. Maybe I would fit into this world again before long.
But did I want to?
No one else accosted me in the corridors, but word of my fight with the redhead—whose name I found out was Marissa—spread quickly through the school. By the end of the day Caitlin, Felicia, and Allison had all seemed to decide association with me wasn’t worth the potential damage to their social standing. None of them talked to me in our shared classes or even made eye contact with me in the halls.
My skin felt itchy and too-tight by the time I stepped through the doors into the cold January air.
I needed a break. An escape.
Digging my phone out of my bag, I pulled up Mom’s contact and typed out a quick text to her.
ME: I’m going to study with Caitlin, Felicia, and Allison. We might go see a movie afterward. I’ll be home later.
It was a flat out lie. None of those girls wanted to hang out with me, and the feeling was so mutual it was bordering on animosity. But I knew both of my parents had been worried about how I hadn’t seemed to be reconnecting with my old friends, so I hoped that throwing their names out would make my mother less likely to give me a hard time.
A few people stared at me out of the corners of their eyes as I made my way across the parking lot full of luxury vehicles to the car my father had given me the day he’d announced my engagement to Barrett. I’d been tempted to throw the keys back in his face, since the whole thing felt like a bribe—but it was my only piece of freedom, so I had accepted it grudgingly.
Ignoring the looks and whispers, I climbed inside the Aston Martin and drove out of the parking lot, heading toward the only place I wanted to be right now.
As the cracked sidewalks and dirty buildings of my old neighborhood came into view thirty minutes later, something seemed to loosen in my chest. I had never, ever thought this place might feel like home. But somehow, it did. And I missed it.
I didn’t miss the squat little house I had shared with Mom that had been poorly insulated and always a little too cold. But I missed the memories that’d been formed there, the moments I’d had with the boys. I missed our Christmas celebration that had made the house feel like a home for the first time.
Bishop’s house was right across the street, and when I pulled up outside, I saw his car parked in the driveway. The beat-up convertible with the top up was such a welcome sight that I practically leapt out of my car, slamming the door hard before hurrying up the walk. He technically lived with foster parents like the other two Lost Boys did, but his were almost never home. I was pretty sure they only fostered him for the money they received from the government—money Bish never saw a penny of.
He got by working for Nathaniel Ward, making his own way in the world rather than waiting for foster parents who didn’t give a fuck to help him out in any way. I respected that, even though the work he and the other boys di
d had upset me at first. It wasn’t always violent, but it was almost always illegal. Nathaniel Ward was a powerful crime lord in Baltimore’s underground, and they’d been working for him for a while.
My hand was raised to rap on the door when it was yanked open, and before I could even knock once, I was pulled into Bishop’s arms. Misael and Kace were in his living room too, and they watched me with fond smiles as I sank into Bishop’s embrace.
“What the hell are you doin’ here, Coralee?” he murmured, his voice rumbling against my chest. “Why didn’t you tell us you were comin’? Is everything okay?”
“Yeah.” I sucked in a deep lungful of his woodsy scent, relishing in his masculine aroma. “Nothing’s wrong. I just wanted to see you.”
“Well, we’ll never complain about that.” He released me, grinning down at me. Then he grimaced. “But we were just about to head out to meet Nathaniel.”
“Why don’t we bring her with?” Misael suggested. “Nathaniel told us to bring her by again sometime, remember? I think it’s an open invitation.”
I lit up, raising my eyebrows hopefully as I flicked my gaze from Bish to Kace, hoping they’d both be on board with that. Anything would be better than going home, and although Nathaniel Ward still terrified me a little, I liked his wife, Josephine.
Bishop and Kace exchanged a look, and I could tell they were both weighing it carefully. What they’d said in the pool house last night clearly hadn’t been a lie. They put my safety above everything else.
Finally, they both nodded and broke gazes. Kace ran a hand through his short-cropped blond hair, the muscles of his arm bunching and making the snake tattoo that wrapped around it seem to move like it was alive. Despite the fact that it was the dead of winter, he was wearing a t-shirt and jeans which both hugged his large, muscled body.