“Only because you go through them faster than I do.”
He laughed again. “Ha. Damn right I do. But I’m serious. Have you thought about making this a permanent thing?”
“Well, I’ve thought about the fact that it wouldn’t bother me if it was…” I remembered the gut-punched feeling that morning Macks had reminded me this wasn’t a forever thing after we’d had sex again for the first time.
“Wouldn’t bother you if it was? Well, shit, man. Maybe that’s part of your problem. You obviously care about Macks a lot, so why are you talking about her like someone might talk about a new shade of paint on the walls.” His voice changed, mimicking mine. “It doesn’t bother me…”
I rolled my eyes. The downside of Grant being a good friend was that he didn’t pull punches when it came to giving advice.
“So, what are you suggesting?”
He chuckled. “I think you need to figure out what the fuck you feel for Mackenzie.”
My chest tightened. I could insist all I wanted that I wasn’t going to turn into my father, but at the end of the day, there were parts of the cold-hearted bastard I couldn’t seem to shake.
“Listen, man,” Grant said, slipping into his role as ‘love guru’ as easily as any part he played on-screen. “When you know it, you know it. When you feel it, it’s there. You see her as a natural part of your space, your life. That’s some deep shit. That’s not just you two being friends. That’s not just you enjoying having sex with her. And if it’s something that’s going between the two of you, you just feel it. You might be confused, but your heart knows it’s there; don’t over-think it.” He hesitated, then added, “And after seeing you two last night, I think Mackenzie feels the same way. How long do you have until you can safely file for divorce?”
“Three weeks.”
Grant whistled. “Shiiit. A little tight, but it should be enough time to get you thinking about what you want to do. If you realize you don’t want to let her go, and if she feels the same, you don’t have to do anything—since you two are already fucking married. And if you find out something else… well, I guess that’s a bridge you’re gonna have to cross when you get there, buddy.”
I chuckled. “Thanks, Doctor Love. You’re right. I gotta figure out what the hell—” My phone buzzed as I held it against my ear. I looked at the screen; it was a message from one of the partners telling me I was late for a meeting. “Shit. Grant, I gotta go. Work calls.”
“Sure, do your thing. I’ll talk to you later, man.”
“Thanks.”
I hung up and drummed my fingers against the armrest as my driver worked his way through the last few blocks of traffic. When he pulled over, I made my way up to the offices as quickly as possible. I hadn’t realized I was quite so late, but it wasn’t anything I couldn’t smooth over with a few smiles and well-placed words.
Up on the thirtieth floor, I strode into the large meeting room. As soon as I did, I felt the change in the air, some sort of grim anticipation hovering like a cloud.
Something was up.
Buzzing chatter hummed low in the room as I took my place at the head of the table. Eyes followed me, and I felt like I was on some sort of chopping block I hadn’t even known I’d stepped onto.
Had I done something wrong?
I sat down, making myself comfortable. No one spoke, so after a moment, I did.
“Well, don’t get quiet on my behalf. I heard there were some things that need discussing?”
The question prompted one of the partners, Malcolm, to clear his throat and speak up.
“Yes, Sir. You’ve been a bit… absent the last week, two weeks. It’s let several important matters of infrastructure, management, and planning fall behind. There are also quite a few things you need to look over, sign for, problems that need to be addressed that you haven’t gotten back to us on…”
He went on and on. The initial fight in my spirit to push back the implication that I wasn’t doing enough to run the company slowly dwindled the more he spoke about what had been let to go by the wayside while I’d been preoccupied with Mackenzie.
Suddenly, I felt the weight of my recent time with her pressing down on my shoulders.
What was I doing?
My father had uprooted my life to get me to this place. To keep up the family empire. To make the world know our family name. He’d even made me jump through ridiculous hoops in order to keep my hold on that family legacy, which I’d grudgingly done. And yet, here I was… ruining it.
When all was said and done, there was silence. Then, I spoke.
“I want to first and foremost apologize to you,” I said. “All of you. I’ve been… preoccupied lately. That stops. Today.”
The looks on the people around me ranged from relieved to skeptical. For the most part, everyone seemed to believe I meant what I’d said; which just left me to figure out what I was going to do to fix my mistake.