My heart starts racing all over again. Jesus, what must my blood pressure be like by now? It’s a wonder I haven’t fucking passed out.
Gavin’s seated behind a small desk, typing quickly on a laptop when we walk in. He holds up a hand, making us wait while he finishes whatever it is he’s writing. Probably nothing good. The seconds seem to stretch into eternity, and I’m positive everyone in the small room can tell how nervous I am.
There’s no way Sloan’s going to lie to his dad’s face about what happened. He can’t. So he’s going to have to tell him the truth, and I don’t have a great feeling about what might happen to me when he does.
In fact, I have an awful feeling about it.
Is Gavin going to make me take on some kind of task as penance like he did to my dad? Am I going to have to find some way to pay back the money the Jackals took?
Fuck, there’s no damn way that’ll ever be possible. It has to have been hundreds of thousands of dollars.
Finally, Gavin closes the lid on his laptop and looks up at us. His gaze slides over Rory, Levi, and me, and then settles on Sloan.
Just like I was the first time I met him, I’m struck by how similar he and Sloan look. They have that same commanding presence, and they carry themselves similarly. Sloan’s given me or one of the guys that same expectant look his father is wearing so many times over the weeks I’ve known them, but somehow it’s never packed quite the punch it does when it’s coming from his dad.
“What happened?” Gavin asked, and the way he asks it makes it clear he expects the full story.
Sloan sighs and starts talking. “The Jackals got away with Alex and most of the cash,” he explains. “They were gone before we even got there. Well. There were two of them left, but they escaped.”
“How did they find out about Alexander in the first place?” Gavin demands. “This was supposed to be airtight. Where’s the leak?”
I can feel Levi and Rory glance at me out of the corners of their eyes, but Sloan doesn’t look away from his father.
“It wasn’t one of ours,” he says. “It was Mercy. She’s been feeding information to the Jackals. She snooped through private messages and notes and found what she needed to give them. It was a revenge plot. She saw me when I was pretending to kill Oscar, and she thought he was actually dead. She’s been plotting against us this whole time to get back at us. At me.”
Gavin’s eyes narrow, and his face is like a thundercloud. Sloan at his most upset has never looked as angry as his father does now, and I have to remind myself to breathe.
Finally, Gavin’s gaze lands on me, and I really wish it hadn’t. His eyes are icy cold as he looks me up and down, and I wonder if he even remembers me from that night of the fight. If he knows what he put my father through. If he cares.
Sloan made it seem like Gavin’s the sort of person who only cares about the gang and preserving its interests and power, so I’m sure he’s not going to care about my justifications. Even if Sloan had killed my dad, telling him I was striking back at the Black Roses because of it wouldn’t mean anything.
And since Sloan didn’t kill him?
My reasons mean less than nothing.
Gavin looks at me for a long minute, and I can’t figure out if he’s waiting for my side of the story or not.
Either way, I launch into it. “Sloan’s right,” I admit, forcing the words past my tight throat. “I gave the information to the Jackals.”
The look on Gavin’s face fills me with dread as I realize the detail I’ve forgotten. I’ve been so worried about this accountant and what Gavin might do to me that I forgot about what he might do to my dad. If he’s pissed enough, maybe he’ll renege on whatever deal they had with my father.
That sick feeling rises in me again, dread and worry doing a tap dance in my stomach.
After all of this, thinking my dad was dead and then finding out he’s still alive, I can’t be the one who gets him killed in the end. I can’t be responsible for that, especially considering I haven’t even gotten to see him again since I thought Sloan shot him.
“I acted alone,” I add hastily, trying to make sure the blame falls squarely on me and no one else. “And I’m sorry for how it happened, but I thought… I thought my dad was gone.”
I hate how small my voice sounds when I say that. Gangs don’t deal in pity. I fucked up by doing what I did, and trying to play on Gavin’s sentiments isn’t going to help.
But apparently I can’t help it.
He’s angry, that much is obvious, but he’s not yelling or lashing out. His emotions are contained, and he seems to be thinking through the situation. I honestly don’t know if his careful consideration of everything that went down will make things better or worse for me, and my fingernails dig into my palms as I wait for him to say something.
“Is Alexander dead?” he finally asks Sloan, looking away from me and back to his son.
Sloan shakes his head. “We’re not sure. We didn’t find a body or any signs of a major struggle at the house. No blood or bullet holes or anything. They probably just took him.”
Gavin nods. “It would make the most sense for them to take him alive. Try to break him or use him against us somehow. I can’t see them killing him outright. He’s too valuable.”