The Burlington Manor Affair
Page 68
“So am I.” She moved her hand, meshing her fingers through his.
The action was so simple yet so significant.
“I thought about you a lot,” he said.
She gave a gentle smile, but the pain was there. Why hadn’t he seen this aspect before? He hated himself for missing it.
“Your dad locked himself away.” Pausing, she seemed to be picturing it. “I don’t think we were in any state to comfort each other, though, so I went to my aunt’s. I felt closer to Mum that way, with her sister. I wrote to your father every week at first, and he wrote back. I used to ask his advice about Mum’s business interests, and he always offered an opinion.”
“She’s always with you.”
Carmen nodded. “There’s something else, though. Something I haven’t told you. I didn’t think it was an accident. I told the police that. She was a good driver. She never exceeded the speed limit. They looked into it but they found no evidence to suggest her car had been tampered with. I’ve never been happy with that, though, you know. It always felt as if there was more to it, and that suspicion never really went away.”
Rex felt as if a window had been opened, and the view wasn’t good. Why didn’t I think about this? Because he’d been busy courting the racing circuit when it happened, most likely. Guilt crept in. “Did you tell my dad?”
“Yes. Well, actually, the police did.” She had a faraway look in her eyes as she spoke. “He agreed they should investigate any concerns I had, but he couldn’t think of a good reason anyone would do such a thing. I brought it up in our letters, and he reiterated that. He told me he felt guilty for bringing her out there to the country, where she died so tragically.”
That was more tenderness than Rex had ever witnessed in his father, but he didn’t resent it. He was glad they’d had the connection, before and after the accident. Had it been part of his father readdressing their own split, a cause for the letter he’d read?
He leaned forward, drawing her attention back to him. “You’re bound to wonder exactly what happened, that’s only natural.”
“I know. I suppose it’ll always haunt me. The important people do.” She smiled then, and although her eyes shone and her lashes were damp, she looked at him with genuine affection.
“We’ll talk more over the weekend, at the manor. We need to be there to address these issues and move on.”
“I suppose you’re right. I expected it to hurt, but walking in there, I mostly remember the happy times.”
“You can’t just blot it out. We need all the pieces of the jigsaw to make sense of the world. I hated that my parents split, but I can’t pretend it didn’t happen, just as much as I couldn’t deny how happy Dad was with Sylvia.”
“You know, sometimes you are so sensible I barely recognize you, Rex Carruthers.”
“That almost sounds like a compliment.”
“Don’t worry. I haven’t lost my senses completely. I’m well aware that you’ve rather cleverly got me lined up for another weekend of kinky sex at the manor.”
“Guilty as charged.”
“You’re shameless.”
“Utterly.”
And this time there would be no partygoers to mess things up. Just him and her, the letter to discuss and the past to put to rest. Rex was ready to deal with it all, in the hope they could finally be together.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
BY FRIDAY, REX was counting the minutes.
He’d had a lot to deal with at Slipstream that week and was currently on his way back from a meeting with a supplier. A draft came down the tunnel into the tube station. Hopeful that it heralded a train, Rex glanced back at the electronic information boards. One minute until the next arrival. He checked his watch. The business meeting he’d had to attend had taken longer than he’d planned and now he had to get home to pick up his car and drive north to Burlington Manor for his weekend with Carmen. After what had passed between them the weekend before—the understanding, and the mutual desire—all he could think about was being with her again. Weekends only was getting to be a burden. After his first call, they’d proceeded to speak on the phone every night that week. Carmen drew a line when he asked her out to eat with him again, reminding him she needed the weekdays apart to stay sane, but it was driving him insane being apart from her.
The sound of the train approaching brought him back to the moment and he edged forward on the platform. It was crowded and he didn’t want to have to wait for the next train.
Behind him the crowd thickened.
Rex felt a hand on his back. He was turning his head to tell whoever it was to back off when the hand punched him. Hard, between the shoulder blades, jolting him forward.
The ground went from under Rex’s feet.
The train loomed close.