"Yes, it will,” he replied, with a gentle smile.
* * * *
The sun was lowering on the horizon, shimmering over their path like gold coins spilling from the sky. Elishiba rode into it but barely noticed, following Xerxes as he led their small caravan, her thoughts faraway in a moonlit sky where she had walked amongst the stars with her lover.
"Come on my girl, lift your head, we are on Aleemite land now.” Yoshi gave a gentle smile, her eyes filled with concern.
Inside another day they would be in Suzin. Even though she wanted to be there, to see her father's face and hold Tariq in her arms, it was hard to even think of it. Her heart was breaking. She mustered a smile for Yoshi and nodded. All of them had been eager to see home, and had risen early and traveled much longer hours and through the heat of the days to get there.
Yoshi urged her mount on and whispered something to Xerxes. He nodded, looking at Elishiba sadly. “We will rest up ahead a while,” he called out to the small group who trailed after them, “until the sun falls."
He led them toward the rocky outcrops that now lined their path, which afforded some shelter. Dismounting quickly, he strode to Elishiba's side to help her down.
"Thank you,” she said.
"Empress...” He lowered his head. “Yoshi told me about the bond you shared with Amshazar. I am sorry for your loss."
She put her hands on his shoulder, touched by his remark. She knew those words would not come easy to him. “He was a good man, Xerxes."
"I know that now.” Guilt shadowed his eyes.
"Don't be hard on yourself. I mistrusted him as well, in the beginning. We had to."
She rested her hand on his chest, and he took her into his arms, holding her. Holding her as a man holds a woman with whom he might stay with forever, and still she thought of Amshazar. Would it ever get any easier? Did she even want it to?
After they had taken water she broke from them, wandering away to address the quiet grief in her heart in a moment of solitude. She walked past the place where the rock thrust up from the earth and the crag turned to dune. Looking out at the horizon as she sat down on the sands, she pulled her headdress low on her face to keep out the sun.
She sank her fingers into the sand, spilling the warm grains of Aleem through her hands, staring down at it, marveling that this was home. They had achieved their goal. She had secured the future for their people. But it had been done at great cost to her heart. The past days had brought her so much, and taken so much. Amshazar.
Her eyes closed, and she pictured his face. Pictured him when he had held her on the balcony in the dawn. She had known then he loved her, she had recognized it in his eyes, and in her heart.
She lost track of how long she had been sitting there, memories of Amshazar flitting through her mind, when she heard a voice at her side. With a start, she turned and saw that it was Santor, Amshazar's spirit guide.
"Forgive me, Elishiba, I didn't mean to startle you."
She breathed and nodded, putting her hand out to him in greeting, glad to see him and yet wondering if she would even be able to feel him if she touched him. “It is good to see you again, Santor. Thank you for your guidance in the temple in Lhastari, you came to me when I needed it most. It was an impossible choice for me to make, and yet I know Amshazar would have wanted it to end the way it did."
He rested his hand in hers, and although she did not feel solidity, she felt the pressure of his reassurance. “You cared deeply for Amshazar, your grief is visible."
"My affection for Amshazar grew quickly and lodged deep. The pain...” She shook her head, unable to put it into words.
"Your love for him and your people made you fearless. It led you to use your sorcery in its most powerful form, and at the time it was most needed."
His words made her suspicious.
She lifted her head, dismayed. “Are you saying it was necessary for me to love him that much and to hurt that painfully, to fulfill the challenge?"
Santor was not at all daunted by her remark. He shrugged. “I am merely commenting. It helped, did it not?"
She felt appalled at the idea of it. “I hope his death was not to serve that purpose."
"Some men never die."
Elishiba stared at the spirit guide, trying to grasp the underlying meaning in his words. That's when she noticed that his eyes were twinkling with mischief, and a smile played around his lips.
"Are you telling me that Amshazar was an immortal?"
"Oh no. But it is only the finest magi, those who have carried the message of the gods successfully who go on to become immortal. I think perhaps Amshazar was one such magus, don't you?"