Only Pleasure (Bound Hearts 10)

He touched her hair, let the soft strands caress his fingers, and felt his jaw clench at the thought of dragging himself from her warm bed and facing the cold outside. And he knew he had no choice.

This wasn't a relationship, he reminded himself. It was just for the pleasure alone. Confidences weren't exchanged; late-night pillow talk and waking to the same pillow the next morning weren't condoned.

If he did that, he was admitting it was more, and admitting it was more held the power to weaken him. Chase had stared into the dark void of weakness six months before when he had to kill a woman he was more fond of than most, a woman who had somehow lost her grip on reality and attempted to kill his brother and his brother's fiancée.

A woman Chase had desired. One he had thought was a friend. His judgment had been flawed to the extent that he had overlooked all the signs as he ran the investigation into Jaci's and the Robertses' pasts in an attempt to figure out why the Robertses had tried to destroy her.

And now, here he was, six months later, caught in the grip of some strange, unknown hunger for a woman who threatened to twine around his heart in ways Moriah Brockheim hadn't had the chance to.

If he didn't get away from her, then he was going to end up trying to keep her. And keeping her wasn't possible. Keeping any woman wasn't possible at this point. Because Chase had never been good at letting anyone get close to him. It was too much of a risk; the danger in it was too great.

He'd lost his parents at thirteen and lost his twin for nearly twenty years. He had allowed Cameron to be nearly destroyed when he was a child, and for years he had fought to survive without the bond he had grown up with.

He'd learned how to be alone. It was all he knew. He'd never wanted, never ached for anything more, but Kia made him wonder what more would be like. That curiosity was brewing inside him, and it was dangerous.

He didn't want to hurt her. Breaking her heart, after what Drew did to her, was something he flinched at the thought of doing.

This wasn't for the emotion, and he had to remind himself of that. It was never for the emotion.

He forced himself to untangle himself from her slowly, tucking the blankets around her as she moaned, a whispered "no" leaving her parted lips as he rolled to the edge of the bed and straightened up.

His fingers plowed through his hair as he fought to keep from turning back to her. Shaking his head, he pushed himself to his feet and stared back at her. There, in that ocean of a bed, she looked like a little doll, lost and alone.

Son of a bitch. No wonder she slept on that fucking couch. This bed was meant to be shared with a lover. Large and romantic, but it swallowed her small body. The couch, with its firm cushions against her back, would at least give her a measure of illusion. Maybe she could pretend there was someone to hold her through the night.

And he was leaving her to that.

He jerked his clothes from the floor and quickly dressed. If he didn't hurry, then he would never be able to walk away from her.

What the hell had he managed to get hims

elf into here? Falling in love wasn't in his game plan, but if this didn't stop here, then he or Kia, if not both, was going to end up stepping into something that could destroy both of them.

Tucking his shirt into his pants, he lifted his head to look at her one last time, and froze.

"At least you're not gnawing your arm off in your attempt to leave without waking me," she said quietly. "Can you dress any faster, Chase?"

Kia drew the silk sheet over her breasts, surrounded by the smell of Chase and of sex, and watched him solemnly. It wasn't even daylight, and he was already leaving.

She glanced at the clock on the bedside table. It was barely two, wickedly cold outside, she was certain, and he was rushing to dress and leave before she awoke. Now, wasn't that good for a girl's ego?

"I need to get back to the apartment," he said as he fixed his slacks and adjusted his belt. He tossed his jacket on the end of the bed before moving to her.

"Of course you do. " She smiled, rather insincerely she knew, but it was hard to be sincere when she could feel the hurt rising inside her.

He couldn't even spend the night with her, she realized.

"I'll see you soon," he promised.

She stared into his eyes, and read things there she didn't want to see. His desperation to leave, his regret. Regret that he was leaving? Or regret that she had awakened before he could escape her?

"Of course you will. " She kept her arm tight over her cheek and refused to let him see the hurt that came with that particular state-merit. "You know, Marcy Stephens bragged quite horribly about the nights you and Cameron spent in her bed. She swears Cameron was the one who escaped moments after his release and you were the one who petted her through the night. She must have managed to get the two of you mixed up. "

There was that scar across Cameron's cheek, though. That would have been hard to do.

A frown flitted across his brow.

"Go," she told him softly. "Before it gets much later. I'm sure you have an early meeting or something in the morning. "