I recline against the armrest, trying to get comfortable. “Talk about something specific.”
Something in my tone must warn him that we’re about to have a serious talk because he rotates toward me and gives me his undivided attention. “All right, I’m all yours for the night. Talk away.”
My stomach does the bad dance moves again, and I seriously wish I had an antacid or something, because I feel like I’m one foul taste away from barfing up beer. My gaze falls to the scars on my arm. The tiny white marks seem so insignificant, but I feel like they’re a brand, blazing for the entire world to see.
“It’s about my scars…” I trace my fingertip along the longest one, the one Braiden left when he stomped on my arm, crushing it into the dirt alongside my heart. “And about Braiden.”
“Can I ask… Who’s Braiden?” Greyson questions cautiously.
I summon another breath, and then force myself to look at him. “He’s the guy I used to date.”
He swallows hard, his gaze trailing over my arm before returning to mine, his eyes full of sympathy. A beat of silence goes by, and my heart dances like a lunatic inside my chest.
“I’m not sure how much of the story you want to hear,” I mutter. “I can give you the short version, if you want. It might be easier to take.”
“Easier to take?” He scoots across the sofa until our knees touch. “Seth, I’m not afraid of your past… It just hurts to imagine you being in that kind of pain, that a guy you cared about caused those scars.”
“Braiden didn’t act alone,” I explain. “His friends were there, too. They never really liked me, anyway.”
“That doesn’t make it any better.”
“I’m not saying it is… I’m just saying there were other people there and I didn’t care about any of them except…” I force down the lump welling in my throat and lower my head, staring at my hands. “Except Braiden.”
Greyson cups my face between his hands and forces me to look at him. “What did he do to you?”
The compassion in his eyes makes it easier to open my mouth and spill my soul. If I look too deeply, though, I see something else. Love, maybe. And that… Well, that makes me afraid. Blindly, breathlessly afraid, yet at the same time, I feel completely safe.
“We’d been seeing each other for a few months, using the excuse that I was his tutor to hook up while we were supposed to be studying. Braiden was… Well, he was the popular jock loved by all and completely heterosexual to everyone but me. Even though I hadn’t came out to my mother yet, there were kids at school who realized I’m gay. Word got around that Braiden and I were seeing each other.” I roll my eyes. “Because that’s what happens in Mapleville. When Braiden’s friends found out, they confronted him and he, of course, denied it. They told him to prove it and the proof they wanted was my blood on all their hands.” I shrug because I can’t think of anything else to say. “And there you go.”
“Seth.” His voice carries a gentleness to it, as if he’s afraid I’m about to break.
I realize I’m crying. “Oh, my God, this is so embarrassing.” I reach up to wipe the tears away, but he holds my face firmly in his hands.
“You should never be embarrassed for being who you are.” His words strike my heart, but I nearly fall apart when he wipes my tears away with his fingertips.
“I just want to forget it ever happened… But I have all these scars on my arm that won’t allow it… It’s why I’m so afraid to be with you. Like be with you, be with you.”
“God, I hate that they did this to you,” he says as he finishes drying my tears. “I wish I could make it go away somehow. Tell me what to do. Please.”
“I wish you could make it go away, too, but unfortunately you can’t… You can make it better for a little while, though.”
“How?”
Without giving a verbal answer, I lean forward and smash my lips to his. With a gasp, he splays his fingers across my cheeks and opens his mouth, deepening the kiss. At first I take my time, kissing him slowly, savoring each movement of his tongue, the warmth of his skin when I run my hands up his arms. The best part about it all is the sense of security I feel. I never felt this safe with Braiden. It was always, “Shut and lock the door. I don’t want anyone finding out about us.”
As I lie down on the sofa, Greyson moves over me, covering my body with his. I run my fingers through his hair, tugging hard, and bite at his lip. He groans, grinding against me, and my pulse quickens in both fear and excitement at the feel of him. The slow, teasing burn suddenly shifts to uncontrollable want and I get rock hard inside my jeans. I tug off his shirt and pull him closer, never wanting to let him go.
“Seth,” he whispers through ragged breaths when I trail my hand down his sexy-as-hell stomach.
“You know, you made it sound like you went to the gym every so often.” I trace his muscles with my fingers. “But I’m thinking you must be one of those people who are workout psychotic.”
“Maybe… just… a… little…” He seems severely distracted as I fiddle with the button of his jeans.
I mess around with the button just a bit longer before I undo it, drag down his zipper, and slip my hand down his boxers. He groans when I grasp him, rocking into me. I get lost in the feel of him as I move my hand up and down, getting more turned on by the second.
I raise my head to kiss him, but he pushes back, grabbing the bottom of my shirt and jerking it over my head. He rolls over beside me and I move with him, confused about his intent until he undoes the button of my jeans and gives me exactly what I’m giving him.
I don’t know how to react. Braiden was never like this with me. He was always a taker and I the giver. I think about telling Greyson that, that he’s the only guy that’s ever touched me like this, but my lips can’t seem to function.
I’m not sure how I went from being afraid to kiss and tell my secrets to pouring my heart out and being with him like this. My mind is racing so quickly I can’t keep up, and rather than getting lost in my own head, I cling to Greyson, holding tight all the way to the end.
After things settle down, we lie on the sofa with our foreheads pressed together.
“You okay?” he asks as he struggles to catch his breath.
My heart is trying to beat its way out of my chest as I nod. “I’m more than okay… I’m perfect.”