“Dismiss anyone who’s still here. Tell them we’ll be gone in a few days and they can return. And I want you to find something in the hills for the vigils to protect, like a rock or a thornbush. I don’t want to see them around here.”
“Fine. But they’re nowhere around right now. We’re alone.” He licked his lips and added, “We must talk about Roden’s attack last night.”
I stared out the carriage window but saw nothing. “All right, talk.”
He leaned forward and clasped his hands. “Last night you told me your choice would come down to either the unacceptable or the impossible. So which did you choose?”
With little to offer him, I only shrugged. “Well, as I said, the unacceptable is . . . not acceptable.”
“Then the impossible clearly means you’re planning something with the pirates.”
“Don’t ask me about that right now.”
“Then you ask me!” Never before had I seen such an intense look of concern in Mott’s eyes. “Jaron, all you have to do is ask, and I would follow you into the devil’s lair.” After a beat he added, “Or even to the pirates.”
“I know that.” My words were barely a whisper.
“I can hear the fear in your voice. Let me help.”
I was afraid, and I really did want to talk about it. But I also couldn’t allow Mott to change my mind. If I gave him enough time to talk, he’d eventually succeed.
So I only said, “If you want to help, get rid of the vigils for me.”
Mott sighed, then reached for the handle and left the carriage. After he’d gone I left the carriage as well and wandered toward the back of Conner’s estate. It was strange to be here again with Farthenwood so unchanged, and yet my entire life once more turned upside down.
The memories of my time here remained fresh and raw. This was where I’d received two scars on my back as reminders of the price of returning to the throne. One was given to me by Tobias, and the deeper one came from Mott. They were now the two people I needed most in this world.
“We were looking for you.” Tobias was already bowing when I turned around.
“Stop that,” I said.
He rose up and smiled awkwardly as he ambled over to me. We stood beside each other, facing the back of Farthenwood. Directly in front of us was Conner’s room. Maybe they’d suggest I use it, since it was the nicest one. I wouldn’t be here tonight, but even if I were, under no circumstances would I sleep there.
“I heard Gregor wants to replace you with a steward,” Tobias said.
“That’s his plan.”
He kicked at the ground. “You never wanted to be king, so maybe it’s a good thing.”
“Is it? Should I celebrate that?” He apologized, and as we headed back to the house, I said, “Maybe I should appoint you as my steward.”
Tobias chuckled. “Definitely not! But I’d love to be a physician one day. Or maybe a teacher. I’d be a good one, I think.”
“Yes, you would.”
“The problem is, there’re no children at the castle to teach. Maybe one day you and Amarinda —”
“I wouldn’t count on that,” I said flatly.
“She still hates you?”
“I don’t know what she thinks about me. I don’t know what she thinks about anything, really.”
“Have you talked to her?”
I rolled my eyes. “Don’t you start too.”
“Sorry.” Then he added, “Jaron, why are we here? Does it have anything to do with those pirate books from last night?”