Alpha Erased (Alpha Girl 9)

Before they got on the plane to Texas, Michael called me earlier to ask if they should stay and help, but I sent them home as planned. Claudia and Lucas would watch her until she got here, and then they were leaving, too.

Everyone would fly back to Texas and wait for me to fix this. Eli said I had to do this alone, so I was trying to believe that I could. That somehow, I’d find a way to make the impossible happen a second time.

My phone buzzed, telling me it was time to eat. I wasn’t hungry, but I swore to Chris that my wolf wouldn’t slip up a second time. I was going to keep that promise. Which meant food was necessary.

I went to the kitchen, opened the fridge, and froze.

We’d gotten all of Tessa’s favorites from the store—everything I avoided since she’d been gone. If she wanted to come over and watch a movie, I had anything she could possibly want. Right now, all I could see was the case of Diet Coke and the bars of chocolate that she loved.

I closed the fridge and turned around. On the counter were Cheetos, Oreos, and two more cases of Diet Coke. The Tessa Trinity. That plus the two cartons of coconut chocolate chip ice cream in the freezer, and suddenly it was like everywhere I looked, Tessa was here.

Except she wasn’t. Not yet.

Tendrils of panic grew through my lungs, making it hard to breathe. I was being too optimistic. I was jinxing myself.

Damn it. Why did I buy this stuff already?

Last night, when everyone was here and hopeful and excited, it seemed smart to plan for success. Of course, I should get all of Tessa’s favorites. She’d be spending her days with me in no time.

But now that I was alone, her wanting to suddenly hang out with me seemed like such an impossibly stupid stretch of the imagination.

I’d barely gotten the chance to talk to her before she collapsed in the coffee shop. How was I going to go from that to hanging out today?

I opened the fridge again—did my best to ignore all of Tessa’s food—and grabbed some stuff to make a quick breakfast. I’d eat, clean up, and then I’d figure out what else I could do to keep myself from going insane.

I did the first two things, and then my phone buzzed, saving me from figuring out the next part, at least for a little while.

Axel texted. Just landed. Has she gotten back to her apartment yet?

No. It was only eleven here. Even if she was discharged today, it might be a while before she made it back. I wasn’t sure what I’d do between now and then, but I’d figure something out.

Okay. Let me know when she does. I feel bad leaving. As soon as we got on the plane…we all feel the same. We want to come back. You don’t have to do this alone.

I’m fine. Stay there. I might regret that in a few, but for now, I needed to do this on my own. I’d been leaning on everyone for far too long.

Bullshit.

I’m fine. I swear.

Okay, but I got this alert when we landed. Above & Beyond is playing there in two days. I keep thinking that she’d want to go and that we should take her but she doesn’t know who I am anymore and I don’t even know if she likes them anymore. This is so fucked up.

Sometimes Axel was so much like his sister. When we have her back, we’ll figure out where they’re playing and take her.

Fine. I just want her back.

She will be. I’ll let you know if I need you. Let the others know the same goes for them.

Will do. BTW—my sister was obsessed with you

from the beginning. I remember the way she looked at you that day at the mall. She didn’t know you then either, but she wanted to. You can do this.

I stared at the screen for a minute. Could I? Did he really think so?

It was going to be so much harder this time because I knew what was on the line. If I messed this up, both of us could end up dead.

My cell phone rang, and I answered it before checking to see who it was, assuming it was Axel. I wasn’t sure how long I’d been staring at my phone, trying to figure out what to text.

“Is she back from the hospital yet?” Adrian’s voice came through my cellphone.