“I am faithful to God, Your Holiness. I do not seek marriage.”
“You lust. Can you say otherwise?”
His lips thinned. His hands curled into fists. His eyes were a cold blue, as brittle as ice. “I am faithful, Your Holiness.”
“To God?”
He shut his eyes.
“To a woman you can never have.”
That fierce gaze startled, when he opened his eyes so abruptly. “I had her once!” He slammed a fist into the bench, then set his jaw and shut his eyes again and took in three trembling breaths before he quieted himself. “I am faithful to her. To no one but her. And after her, to God. And after God, to Henry.”
“Who is dead.”
“I did my best to save him!”
“I do not doubt it,” she said, to mollify him. “What of Henry’s son? Is she with Prince Sanglant?”
He could not speak. He was shaken, and tired, and so gnawed through with jealousy that he had become fragile with it, ready to fall to pieces but not yet shattered.
“This is too much and too quickly,” she said more gently. “You are only arrived after a long and undoubtedly arduous journey. How came you here?”
“I journeyed by horse southwest from Quedlinhame until I found a crown. With my astrolabe it was a simple enough thing to measure precisely my route to Novomo. This I have taught myself that Anne did not know and had not mastered. I can go anywhere whose destination is known and measured. Two weeks only I lost in the crossing. Soon I shall have it down to a handful of days.”
“And all alone, no retinue at all.”
“None, except the beast, who resides in the lady’s stables now. I have fled those who do not trust me. Even my own kinfolk were turned against me by poisonous words.” Weary, indeed, to admit so much so honestly.
“I do not trust you, Lord Hugh. Why should I?”
“Trust that I have no power save my knowledge of the arts of the mathematici. My mother is dead, and my sisters hate me. Queen Adelheid wishes me gone. That bastard who calls himself king has the power to banish me.”
“And he holds the woman you desire close to his heart.”
“Damn him!”
He wept tears of rage.
The sight so astounded her that she could not move except to wave away the servants who had come into the room, hearing his distress. Her amazement allowed her the patience to wait him out and to explore the lineaments of his anger, shown in the curl of his hands, the stiffness of his jaw, and the way his lower lip trembled like that of a thwarted child. She had never seen him lose control so nakedly.
So might an angel cry, hearing of an insult to God which Their creature was powerless to avenge.
When he had calmed a little, she touched his hand. “I will speak with the queen. You will rest. Later we will speak again. There is a pallet in the outer chamber. No one will disturb you. Ask for food and drink, anything you desire.”
“You cannot give me what I desire,” he said, voice still hoarse with tears.
“You ought to desire God’s favor, Lord Hugh, not a mere woman. Mere flesh.”
“You do not know what she is.”
“But I do know. I saw what she is, and a fearful thing it was to see. You forget I was there at Verna. I think even my galla might not touch one such as she. She is very dangerous, and no doubt that makes her sweeter and brighter in your eyes. I think she is too dangerous to let live.”
“No!”
“Then chained. Dead, or chained.”
He had not dried his eyes, but the tears lingering on his face did not mar his beauty. “I will do anything to get her back.”