Drip Drop Teardrop

A chill fell over the room and this time Brennus had nothing to do with it.

She couldn’t meet his eyes.

“Avery-”

“You know what!” Avery stood up abruptly, a false smile pasted on her face. “I could go pizza for lunch. I know this great place… in Westchester, believe it or not.”

When he smiled softly and stood up to take her hand without saying a word, without forcing her to admit what was buried deep down inside, without forcing her to wonder if she became a person at all or was merely moulded into someone who already existed because she was the kind of girl who hadn’t gotten her parent’s killed, Avery’s heart seemed to miss a couple of beats. Willpower, she whispered inwardly, willpower.

***

“You know I was a real dick when I was a mortal.”

Avery nearly choked on her pizza at Brennus’ random comment. She snorted and coughed, trying not to laugh harder as he grinned wickedly at her.

They were sitting in Papa’s Pizza eating the most delicious pepperoni pizza she had ever tasted, munching in comfortable silence as she tried to shrug off her moment of naked vulnerability with him. He had gotten things out of her that no one had. And he hadn’t even done anything but ask a couple of ‘innocent’ questions. So when he called himself a dick in a family restaurant, it made her feel better. Just as he intended.

She wiped her mouth with a napkin and smiled. “What were you like?”

He shrugged, smirking. “Not very nice.”

“Oh, come on, you have to give me more than that.”

Brennus nodded, his eyes twinkling. He lay down his slice and wiped his fingers with his napkin. “I was very arrogant.”

Avery snorted. “Tell me something I don’t know.”

He laughed and she could see people looking at them from the corner of her eye. She would be searching too for the source of that gorgeous, chocolate laughter. But she knew that wasn’t why they were looking. It startled her to realise that they had been sitting there all this time and until now she hadn’t felt the stares of the public who were intrigued and repulsed by Brennus’ shockingly scarred face. The more time she spent around him, the more the scar just became a part of him. It had stopped bothering her. And when she was with him, she didn’t panic when people stared.

“OK.” He chuckled. “I deserved that. But I mean I was a snob. Arrogant. Superior. Often unkind because of it. Saying it was a different time is no excuse. I believed myself above others and thus they were below my notice or my kindness.”

“Were you physically cruel?” she asked carefully, fearful of his answer.

Brennus shook his head. “I’m a very big man and aware of my physical prowess over others. I knew using it against them could be dangerous and unfair. I was arrogant but I had a little sense of honour. No, mostly I was condescending and curt. I had little patience for most people and very little sympathy for the plight of others.”

“What’s the worst thing you ever did?” It was such a morbid question but if she was to give this man a chance, if she was to have any chance of loving him, then she had to know this stuff. They didn’t have the luxury of time to figure it all out.

Nodding his head, Avery knew Brennus understood that. He sighed heavily and took a sip of his coffee. His face had grown a little stark, like his skin was stretched too tight over the bones of his face. “The worst thing I ever did… was to a friend. Caedmon. We grew up together. Both our families were well off, we were of an age. Very close. And stupid. We got into quite a tangle over women.”

Avery could just imagine them. Two good looking rich boys devastating the town. “What age were you?”

“Sixteen.”

Her jaw dropped and he laughed. It was dark and… roguish. She shivered. “Boys were men at sixteen. And Caedmon and I liked to prove we were the biggest men of our peer group.”

“What happened?”

Brennus exhaled. “His father died, leaving them with debts. His mother prostituted herself and Caedmon couldn’t find work. They were ostracised and I was afraid if I remained friends with Caedmon I would lose my own good standing. So I deserted him.”

“Brennus,” she whispered sympathetically, seeing the guilt he still carried after all these years.

“Caedmon joined auxilia, the corp of the Imperial Roman Army open to imperial subjects who weren’t Roman citizens. They were heavy infantry, did as much as a legionnaire. He left. I never saw him again. But when I became Ankou it was easy to discover truths. He died in action… only a year into his career as a soldier.” Brennus shook his head slowly. “He should have died a wealthy tradesman with a beautiful wife and ten children.”

Avery reached forward and touched his arm gently. “If he stayed he could have died in the plague. Or took a fever. Or drowned. Or-”

He held up his hand cutting her off, a cynical smile curving his lips. “You’re really going to try to rationalise for me?”

Remembering he hadn’t pushed her, she grimaced and pulled back. “You’re right. Sorry. You feel bad for abandoning your friend. I get it.”