UnWholly (Unwind Dystology 2)

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Roberta sits in the greenroom, the studio’s pleasant little ready room replete with stale danishes and weak coffee, watching a monitor that broadcasts from the studio down the hall. Her expression of horror could curdle the nondairy creamer.

“I am not now, nor have I ever been, in favor of unwinding,” Risa says. “Unwinding may be the single most evil act sanctioned by the human race.”

The newsman, famous for being cool under fire, stammers for a moment. “But all those public service announcements you made—”

“They’re lies. I was being blackmailed.”

Roberta bursts out of the greenroom into the hall and storms toward the studio door. The red light is on. It’s supposed to be a warning not to go in, since the cameras are live, but it’s a warning she has no intention of heeding.

In the corridor around her are a series of monitors broadcasting Risa’s diatribe. Her face is on every screen, looking at Roberta from half a dozen different directions.

“I was threatened and blackmailed by a group called Proactive Citizenry. Oh, they have lots of other names, like the Consortium of Concerned Taxpayers and the National Whole Health Society, but it’s all smoke and mirrors.”

“Yes, I’m aware of Proactive Citizenry,” the newsman says, “but isn’t it a philanthropic group? A charitable organization?”

“Charitable to whom?”

Just as Roberta nears the stage door, she’s intercepted by a security guard.

“I’m sorry, ma’am, you can’t go in right now.”

“Let me pass, or I promise you, you’ll be out of work by morning.”

His response is to stand firm and call for backup, so Roberta heads for the control booth instead.

“They claim to control the Juvenile Authority,” Risa continues. “They claim to control a lot of things. Maybe they do, and maybe they don’t, but believe me, Proactive Citizenry has no one’s interests at heart but its own.”

The shot cuts to Cam, who looks dumbfounded, or just plain dumb; then it goes back to the newsman.

“So your relationship with Camus . . .”

“Is nothing but a publicity stunt,” says Risa. “A publicity stunt carefully planned by Proactive Citizenry to help Cam be accepted and adored.”

Roberta bursts into the control booth, where an engineer works the editing bay, and the show’s producer leans back in his chair, extremely pleased. “This is mint,” he tells his engineer. “The princess of unwinding bites the disembodied hand that feeds her! It doesn’t get any better than this!”

“Stop the interview!” orders Roberta. “Stop it now, or I will hold you and your network liable for everything she says!”

The producer is unfazed. “Excuse me, who are you?”

“I’m . . . her manager, and she is not authorized to say what she’s saying.”

“Well, lady, if you don’t like what your client has to say, that’s not our problem.”

“Your viewers need to ask themselves this,” Risa says. “Who stands to benefit most from unwinding? Answer that question, and I think we’ll know who’s behind Proactive Citizenry.”

Then the security guard comes up behind Roberta and manhandles her out the door.

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Roberta is relegated to the greenroom until the interview is over and they cut to commercial.

The guard, still on “intruder alert” mode, won’t let her pass. “I have orders to keep you out of the studio.”

“I am going to the restroom!”

She pushes past him and bolts for the studio door. Both Risa and Cam are gone, and the next guests are being miked.