Under His Influence (Love Under Lockdown)

“It doesn’t make her any less dead.”

“I know, and I think about it every day.”

Just for a moment, the facade finally dropped, and I saw Clara for how she really was. She was certainly the type to lie about an accident, but I really didn’t think she had, at first. Clara had been clingy and vindictive, and I could see her pulling a prank, making Luna feel ill.

I didn’t think she was a killer. And here she was proving me wrong once again.

“We aren’t getting back together,” I said now, firmly.

“I think you might change your mind.”

“Oh, and why is that?”

“Because if you don’t, I’ll tell everyone about the little tart who just ran out,” she threatened me. “She was an intern, right? Some bright young thing wanting to learn about the industry, open to some new experiences?”

It stung how right she was.

Not entirely, of course.

There was more to it than that.

I wanted Jonna in the carnal sense, but I also had feelings for her that I’d never experienced for anyone else. When I first proposed that we work together from my house, I thought it could be a fun fling, just to get her out of my system.

I knew I wanted her, knew I would take her and claim her body— her very essence— as I made her my pet. But I didn’t know she would claim my heart. Things had very much not gone according to plan.

“Not exactly,” is all I said to Clara.

“Well, let me give you some exactitude,” she mocked. “It is most definitely a forbidden relationship. So, forget about her and come back to me, or I’ll go to HR at your label, and then the media. Presidents have been impeached over flings with interns.”

I didn’t want to lose the label; I’d spent decades building it up and running things had become such a major part of my life.

What else could I do, without it? Launch a solo career? Not likely. There was only one path to take here.

My brain knew that.

But my heart had a mind of its own and was determined to follow a different path— the treacherous, unpredictable, but potentially more fulfilling one.

“No, Clara, fuck off,” I told her. “I could never forget about Jonna. You’re wrong that she’s just a fling. In fact, I think I’m falling for her, for real. And I don’t care if you try to mess that up, like you did with Luna. I won’t let you anywhere near Jonna.”

“Okay, have fun losing your career,” Clara snarked, heading for the door.

“I don’t think so.”

“Oh,” she asked turning on her heel, “why is that?”

“Because I know something you don’t know, that rather damages your credibility when it comes to me.”

“Oh, and what’s that?”

“Well, I know two things, actually. The first is that I have a standing restraining order against, which you have already walked right through.”

“And second?”

“Three, two, one.”

The infuriating beep filled the house, as Clara’s ankle bracelet started going off, alerting the police to her location.

“I would have heard if you lived around here. It’s quite a bit out of town, you know. Well outside any possible range of ankle bracelet.”

“But I had to come here to see you,” she protested. “I need you. I love you.”

“Well, as you can see, the feeling isn’t fucking mutual. Sit down and have a drink while we wait for the cops.”

Clara flopped onto the couch like a petulant teenager, and I got her mineral water from the kitchen.

It was all true, as much as anything could ever be said to be true. Clara was right that my relationship with Jonna was forbidden.

I was resolutely moral in what I did with Jonna, but moral and ethical were still two different things. Despite the fact we were both consenting adults, I could get in trouble with the company, even though I owned it. And I would also be in a lot of trouble in the court of public opinion, if not the court of law.

None of which mattered at all to me in terms of the greater Truth, though. Despite myself, I loved Jonna, and I couldn’t imagine my life without her.

Clara was out of the picture, forever. All that as left to do was try and convince Jonna she could trust me again.

The cops came and got Clara and thanked me for alerting them that she had violated the restraining order. She begged and screamed for me to be with her, not Jonna, but I ignored her and waved sweetly at her as I locked up my house while she was being put into the cop car.

The motorcycle rumbled under me as I drove into town. Once I arrived at the studio, it took me a while to find Jonna’s address in the employee files in HR’s office. It wasn’t the most honest thing I’d ever done, but desperate times and all of that.