Getting Wet - It's Raining Men

I opened the door, and the unexpected scene inside made my stomach fall like a bowling ball.

"What the actual fuck?" I screamed. There, in our bed, was Royce, his face hidden by supermodel Katrina Nova's perfectly sculpted legs. He was between them—apparently feasting.

Royce's headshot up when I screamed. The next thing I knew, he was on his feet, distancing himself from Katrina as if she were a hot stove, and he'd be burnt his beard from getting too close.

"Baby, this isn't what it looks like."

"It looks like I interrupted your dinner," I calmly said.

I wanted to tear Royce's dick off, but I managed to keep my cool.

"I should have known this would happen; the world's biggest playboy doesn't just change his ways. Especially for a big girl."

I went to our closet and opened up the biggest suitcase I had and started to pile all my clothes mindlessly in the bag.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm leaving you, Royce."

I looked over at Katrina, and she was just lying there, the sheets not even covering her perfect boobs.

"Do you mind?" I asked her. She was watching me pack like it was a reality television show.

"No, go ahead. It's fine. I can wait."

"Are you for real?" I asked. I was shocked at her blatant disregard for the fact that she'd just fucked another woman's man and didn't even have any shame about it. I guess that's what it was like; looking like her and being wanted by most of the free world.

"Yes, I've not had any work done. You can feel my breasts if you want to."

"Great," I said, "but no thanks." Turning to Royce, I told him, "You fucked a complete moron. Hope she was worth it." I filled the suitcase and zipped it up.

"Baby, it doesn't mean anything. We didn't even have sex yet. You came home just in time. You'd just been gone for so long. I was really starting to feel lonely."

"So it's my fault."

"I told you last month to quit your job, but you wouldn't."

"Royce, I'm good at what I do. I love my job. That's normal. What's not normal is checking into the all-you-can-eat pussy buffet because you miss your girlfriend who's been gone for a week."

"I missed you so much," he said in his whiniest tone. Like the big baby he was, he crumpled to the floor at my feet and started begging.

"I won't live like this, Royce. What if I have to go on assignment for a month? How much will you miss me then? Will I come back to find an Eyes Wide Shut orgy orchestrated out of your loneliness?"

Royce blubbered but still didn't ask Katrina to leave or help me schlep my bags down to the foyer. My grandmother always said that men revealed their true selves when they were hungry. Did they jump up to help, or did they clatter their spoons? Did they praise your cooking, or did they grab a sandwich at the 7-11 because they didn't have the patience to wait for your homemade one? But Grandma Lucy in Nebraska didn't ever cover diving into a super model's snatch because you had to travel for work.

Royce was a crybaby.

I was a smart and valuable independent woman who deserved better.

Katrina was twisted up in her bra and garter belt like she was spatially challenged.

When he heard me calling a car, he finally ran down the steps and tried to throw his arms around my neck as I put my coat on.

His beard smelled like another woman's nether regions, and I found myself biting back vomit instead of tears.

"I won't do it again," he pleaded.

"Royce, don't make me point out that she is still upstairs. Not only are you going to do it again, but you'll also pick right up where you left off as soon as this door clicks behind me. I was fool enough to be wooed by you and your vision for our future, but I just now realized that was your vision, which included me giving up everything I love."

"I hate being alone," he said desperately.

"I get that, Royce. I understand. But I'd rather be alone with my true self than a placeholder for your insecurity."

I could see my car pull up through the lace curtain that hung over our thick beveled glass door.

"See you 'round, cowboy," I said to him, grabbing my coat.

"I'll never get over you," he lamented.

"Good. I'll expect royalties on all the great songs our breakup provokes."

I grabbed my bag and walked out, my shoulders pitched back in pride.

You could have had a bad bitch, Royce, but you settled for sushi in Louboutin's with a cash register where her brain should have been.

Chapter 1

One year later

Ally

"I'm so excited!" Katy squealed as we exited the airport and got in line for a cab. "You'd think they would send you a private car or something. This is a business trip."