As we got into the car, Chloe was a little tipsy, and she flipped on the radio to blast music until we got home. I laughed at how silly she had been, but I was just so blown away by her. She literally could not have played her part any better. It was so good that even I was fooled sometimes, and every time she slipped her hand in mine, I felt an urge to kiss her.
I had mostly refrained, but it had been close. There were a few times where she caught me and leaned in for the kiss anyway. Each time it happened, my lips tingled for a few minutes, and I would lose track of time.
I opened the door to our apartment, and she walked in ahead of me, tossing her bag on the counter and heading for her room. It seemed like her demeanor had suddenly shifted, and I wanted to see if I could keep the good mood going. I didn’t know what changed, but if I could fix it, I would.
“Hey,” I said, next to her door. “I just wanted you to know you were great tonight. I’m proud of you. You were fantastic. I think we make a great team.”
There was silence on the other side of her door for a moment, and when it opened, Chloe’s eyes were watery and her makeup was running. She brushed by me into the living room where she crashed on the couch, pulling a pillow up to her chest and softly sobbing.
I was completely flabbergasted. I had no idea what to do with that. She was just so happy and silly in the car, and then we got home and now this? It didn’t make sense. What about what I said was so upsetting?
“What did I say? I don’t understand why you’re crying.”
“Seriously?” she asked, anger coursing through her voice before she buried her head into the pillow again.
“Seriously,” I said. “I don’t get it. We had a great night tonight, and then you were fine on the way back home…”
“I wasn’t fine. I was drowning out my thoughts.”
“Oh.” I sat down gingerly on the edge of the couch. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. I knew what I wanted to do, which was curl her up in my arms and soothe her. But I didn’t think that would fly for some reason. Still, it hurt to see her in pain. “What’s wrong?” I asked meekly.
She sat up, wiping her face with the arm of the sweatshirt she had thrown on. It was one I hadn’t recognized from before, and I assumed it was one she must have had back at home. Then it hit me. It was one of mine from years back, one I never wore but stayed in my closet.
“I just feel so guilty,” she said. “I am not a liar. It’s not who I am. I value the truth. And here I am lying to that sweet woman. Your mother deserves a real daughter-in-law that you love and care about. I hate lying.”
“What?” I asked, confused. This was all so out of left field. If anything, I thought she was the one who was most in on the idea of the pretend marriage. My stomach was tying up in knots as she spoke.
“I hate lying, Matt,” she said, almost accusatorially. “At first I did it out of spite. My mother and father are so awful, and I didn’t think it could hurt anyone. I was only thinking about them and how awful they are. I would do anything to get out of their grasp, out of their control.
“But your mother is an amazing woman. Your brothers are amazing men, and their wives… all of them, these incredible people. They have welcomed me without a second thought. Our story is so sketchy, and yet they didn’t even blink. They just opened their arms and accepted me. Loved me. My cousin, my own cousin, the only person in my family who gives a damn about me, and I’m lying to her, too. And hurting this family who have been nothing but giving and loving and kind.”
I was floored by her outburst and struggled to come up with something to say. Words failed me, and eventually I just had to say something or else the silence would become unbearable.
“I’m sorry you feel that way,” I said. “But you haven’t hurt anyone. You were magnificent tonight. No one knows.”
I searched her eyes and knew instantly it was the wrong thing to say. She was incredibly upset, and as she threw the pillow back down onto the couch and stood up, I figured whatever came next wasn’t going to be pleasant. She looked like she was going to say something, maybe launch into another rant of some kind or tell me this wasn’t working anymore and threaten to leave.