Kolton drops to the ground and pulls me down with him so we’re sitting side by side. After sitting like this for a few minutes, he finally speaks. “A few years back, my older brother Keith was killed… and it was my fault. I was young and dumb, and my actions led to my brother’s death.” He releases a shaky breath, and I swallow down my shock, waiting for him to continue.
“Afterward, I took off, left the country to study abroad. I couldn’t be around my family, couldn’t handle the weight of knowing they all lost someone they loved because of me. I was only gone about a year before my brother convinced me to come back. Our mom was missing me, and he was pissed that my leaving meant she lost two of her sons. So, I returned. It was hard to be back at first and face everyone… When it would get to be too much, I would hop on my bike, which was Keith’s, and go for a ride. I ended up here one night and spent hours staring out at the water. It felt as if all that weight I was carrying ran into the water and was washed away.”
“I feel the same way. When we were little, our parents used to bring us here every year for vacation. No matter what was going on, once I was at the beach, with my toes in the sand and the sun beating down on my face, it was as if everything else momentarily faded away.”
Kolton takes my hand in his and brings it up to his lips, placing a kiss on my knuckles. When he lowers our hands, he keeps our fingers locked together.
“I lost my parents,” I admit. “When Blakely and I were teenagers. We were in a car accident, and by some miracle, even though both our parents died, we survived. It’s not the same as what you went through, but I just want you to know in my own way, I kind of get it.” Kolton squeezes my hand. When I glance over at him, he’s staring out at the water, deep in thought.
After a few minutes, he speaks. “Since I’ve returned, I’ve been on a mission to prove myself. To prove that my brother’s death wasn’t in vain… To prove that, even though nothing I do will bring him back, I’m living up to what he would’ve wanted for me. I’m in school, getting my master’s. I’ve been working hard on my relationships with my parents and Keegan, but somewhere along the way, I didn’t focus on me. Maybe it’s because I didn’t believe I deserved to be happy, or I was directing my attention on other stuff… I don’t know.”
His eyes meet mine, and at this moment, I’ve never felt so in sync with another person as I do with Kolton. I feel everything he’s saying down to my core. And because of that, without second-guessing myself, I give him a piece of myself I’ve never given anyone else—not even Blakely.
“My parents were twenty years apart in age,” I begin. “My mom was seventeen when she met my dad. She was an orphan, never had any kind of real love, and he offered it to her on a silver platter, so she took it. In his own weird, twisted way, I know he loved my mom, but he also loved to be in power, to control things and people, and my mom was easily controlled.
“Growing up, to someone standing on the outside, Blakely and I had the perfect life. The huge house, expensive clothes…Our father ran a successful company. We went to a prestigious private school. Our mom attended charity brunches while we were in school and followed him around all over the globe when he needed her to. She was the perfect trophy wife while we were raised by nannies.
“But in reality, it was all a façade. Our dad made bad decision after bad decision. He ran up debt and took risks he shouldn’t have. He was involved in illegal activity that, we found out later, he would’ve been sent to jail for. He kept our mom on a short leash, and when she misbehaved, he hurt her…” I shiver, remembering walking out of my room to get a drink and overhearing him yell at her just before he slapped her across the face. That was the first time I saw him lay his hands on her—and it wasn’t the last.
“My mom should’ve left him, but she was so freaking in love with him… or maybe she was in love with the idea of him, I don’t know. Either way, in the end, when he knew his life was about to go up in flames, instead of protecting us from the heat, instead of protecting her, he threw us straight into the fire. He found out she was going to take us and run, and he drove drunk, flat out saying he wouldn’t live without her, right before he plowed us into a pole, killing them both.”