The live cameras cut out and a pre-taped package begins playing, and everyone at the judges’ table exhales for a moment.
Savage leans into me and whispers, “You feeling okay?”
“Honestly, no. I’m suffering from major imposter syndrome right now.”
“Bah.” He squeezes my hand under the table. “Just pretend Sunshine is Aloha and each contestant a crew member and you’ll be fine.”
I pull a face of surprise. “That’s great advice. Thanks.”
Savage winks. “I get it right, once in a while.”
“Actually, more than once, if last night was any indication.” I wink suggestively, and that’s all the invitation this horny man needs to lean in and kiss me.
Instantly, at the touch of Savage’s lips to mine, the audience behind us bursts into wild whoops and cheers, and there’s no doubt they’re not reacting to the video.
The director peeks out from behind a monitor. “Savage and Laila!” He motions to the cameras, looking annoyed. “See how all the little red lights are off? We want you to make the audience react like that when one of the little red lights is on.”
Nadine, our executive producer, appears out of nowhere, looking frazzled.
“I already told them,” the director says, cutting her off at the pass. But, apparently, she feels the need to say it anyway. “Guys,” Nadine says, looking at Savage and me. “The cameras have to be on when you whip the audience into a frenzy.”
“We’re sorry,” I say, speaking for both of us, even though Savage’s facial expression makes it clear he’s not sorry in the slightest—that in fact, he’s presently imagining both the director and Nadine eating a bag of dicks. I add, “We didn’t mean to whip anyone into a frenzy. We simply got swept up in the moment and forgot about the audience and cameras for a second there. It won’t happen again.”
Nadine pauses, looking surprised by my explanation. And, suddenly, I realize I just admitted that Savage and I kissed off-camera, not because we’re newbies who forgot to wait for the cameras to be trained on us, but because we kissed for real. For nothing but the sheer pleasure of it.
“Oh,” Nadine says, her eyebrow raised. She smirks at the director before returning to Savage and me. “No worries at all. We know there will be a learning curve for you two, so we’ve folded that into the shooting schedule. We can do reshoots and edits throughout the audition shows, so it’s no biggie. The problem will come later, when we switch to the ‘live taping’ format for the weekly singing competition. At that point, you two are going to have to be a well-oiled machine. But for now, we’ll just have you redo the kiss.”
Nadine and the director both leave, and the minute they’re gone, Savage leans into me and says, “This is going to be even more painful than I thought.”
“Nah, I’m sure it’ll be lots of fun, once we get the hang of it.”
He looks at me like I’m crazy. “No, it’ll be flat-out torture, from beginning to end. All I can say is thank God you’re here with me.”
My heart skips a beat.
“Hey, everyone!” Sunshine says to the studio audience, after conferring with Nadine. “In a minute here, I’m going to chitchat with the judges. And when I get to Savage, he’s going to kiss Laila again, the same way he did a moment ago. And when he does, will you folks please whoop and cheer, the same way you did the last time?”
The audience claps enthusiastically.
“I knew I could I count on you! Let’s cheer even more loudly than last time, yes?”
I look at Savage and roll my eyes and he pulls a face like he wants to bang his head against the table.
A moment later, Sunshine begins going down the line of judges, chatting with Jon, and then Aloha, followed by me, asking us if we’re excited to kick things off. Yes, yes, yes. We’re so excited. When she gets to Savage, however, and asks him if he’s excited about the season, he smiles at me and says, “I’ll say this: I’m excited to be here with Laila.”
“Aw,” the audience says, along with me, just as Savage leans forward and kisses me. As promised, the audience combusts when Savage’s lips touch mine, which prompts me to break away and act like I’m flustered and embarrassed by the crowd’s boisterous reaction. For his part, however, Savage leans back in his chair and flashes a look that says, “Yeah, I fucked her three times last night.” And the audience eats it up.
There’s a bit more pageantry from Sunshine, until, finally, she introduces the first audition of the season—a blue-haired cutie named Addison Swain from Madison, Wisconsin, age eighteen. At the sound of her name, Addison walks onstage, looking nervous and adorable. She greets the judges and Sunshine and says this is a dream come true. After a little chatter, she performs a bit of “Titanium” by Sia—instantly establishing, in my opinion, she’s the one to beat this season. I mean, holy hell, this blue-haired pixie can sing!