“Yes, soon.”
“I think that can be arranged,” White Fire said, chuckling.
He sank his heels into the flanks of his horse and rode off in a hard gallop toward his home. He felt so content he thought he might burst from the feeling. He had everything.
And even more . . .
Chapter 38
Search I the shade to fly the pain.
—Thomas Lodge
As White Fire rode up to his cabin, he gazed in wonder at the door. He had expected Flame to open it as soon as she heard him approaching on his horse. By her not doing it, he wondered now if she had not been so excited after all about him getting his son. Perhaps, she didn’t like the idea of becoming an instant mother after all—not only to Michael, but also to Dancing Star.
Had his absence given her time to reconsider? Had she thought it over and decided that this was not what she wanted out of life after all?
Was her love for him not strong enough to give her the courage to step into motherhood so soon?
“This is your home?” Michael asked, turning to gaze up at his father.
White Fire glanced quickly down at him, wondering if Michael regretted returning to a very different life from the one he had grown used to the past three years. It was obvious that he had forgotten this home. But being only three, yes, it would be hard to remember it.
“This is our home,” White Fire said cautiously, watching his son’s expression, hoping to read in it his true feelings. “I built it, Michael, even before you were born.”
Michael turned slowly back to the cabin. “This is where my real mother lived,” he said, in almost a whisper. Then he turned quick eyes back up to White Fire. “Tell me again how she died?”
“In my absence, while I was being held hostage by the Sioux, your mother became weakened by pneumonia,” White Fire said softly, while looking at the cabin again. Flame had still not opened the door.
His heart sank to think that she had left him to raise the children alone, to be heartbroken by her decision not to marry him.
He turned slowly to the hitching rail. He felt instantly cold inside when he saw that her horse wasn’t there. That had to mean that she had left. He tried not to reveal his sudden despair and disappointment to his son.
“She then died from pneumonia?” Michael said, stammering clumsily over the word “pneumonia,” finding it difficult to pronounce.
“Yes, that is what claimed her life,” White Fire said.
His jaw tightened and anger flashed through him now, replacing his sadness over Flame. He had trusted her! How could she have disappointed him in such a way? How could she have lain there this morning with him in the bed and told him more than once that she loved him, and talked of being so excited about him going for Michael? And of marrying him today?
“Father, moments ago you looked sad,” Michael said, placing a gentle hand to White Fire’s cheek. “But now you suddenly look angry. Why were you sad? Was it because you were speaking of Mother? What has made you angry? Also speaking of her and how she died?”
Seeing that his son picked up on his feelings too easily, White Fire tried to force his emotions, all except for the happiness at having his son with him again, behind him. He had faced many disappointments in life and had conquered the demons that would try to defeat him at such times. He would conquer such demons again.
“Everything is fine,” he said, bringing Michael into his arms to hug him. “How could it not be? I have you with me again.”
“I love you, Daddy,” Michael murmured. “I’m glad to be with you again. I’m so glad you came and got me. Life with my adopted parents was nice, yet they did not allow me to act like a boy. I am so anxious for the pony you said you would get for me at the Chippewa village.”
Michael suddenly eased from White Fire’s arms and gazed with wonder into his eyes. “Daddy, if you were captured by Indians, how could you still be friends with Indians?” he asked, lifting an eyebrow. “You said that you would take me to an Indian village. That is where you plan to get my pony. How could you be friends with people like that, who took you away from Mommy and me?”
“As there are differences in white men, there are differences in men with skin the color of mine,” White Fire said. “The Sioux and the Chippewa are two different tribes of Indians. They have different beliefs and ways of doing things. I am friends with the Chippewa and enemies with the Sioux, for it was the Sioux who abducted me, not the Chippewa. The Chippewa befriended me long ago when I first came to the Minnesota Territory. In fact, Michael, I lived one entire year of my life with them.”
“Did Mother live with them with you?” Michael asked softly.
“No, that was before I met your mother,” White Fire said, then gazed at the door again.
Now all hopes of Flame being there had been shattered. In the time spent talking with Michael, Flame would have surely opened the door had she been there.
Again he stared at the empty hitching rail. He felt a spiraling of despair over not seeing her horse still there. Yes, she was gone.