Then she saw what his other hand held—the red bandanna he had given her to wear before she left the fort. It seemed an eternity ago, so much had happened in the intervening time.
She only now realized that she had left it in Mountain Jack’s cabin. That meant George must have been there. He knew that she had been with Mountain Jack!
He had probably surmised that she was dead.
Tears came to her eyes, for even though she had wanted to hate George Whaley for who he had been in his younger years, she could not forget the good times they had known together.
He had loved her.
He had tried to give her the world to make up for what he had taken from her. She had never wanted for anything . . . except the knowledge of who her true people were.
Now that George Whaley was dead, neither she nor Storm was going to achieve vengeance. If George was dead, how could they? He would never know that she left him because she wanted to. He would never know that she was reunited with her true mother and people of her own tribe.
“Shoshana?”
A familiar voice drew her quickly around.
Colonel Hawkins stepped into the room. “Shoshana, I knocked on the door, but when you didn’t come I became alarmed,” he said. “I was told you had arrived at the fort. I had to come and tell you how glad I am that you are safe. We had all thought you were . . .” His gaze swept slowly over her. “The way you are dressed . . .” he began, a troubled note in his voice.
Then, noticing the way she was looking at George, seeming not to even hear him, Colonel Hawkins glanced quickly at the other man.
When he leaned over and saw George’s eyes and their transfixed stare, he gasped. “Lord, oh, Lord,” he said. “He’s dead.”
“I found him that way,” Shoshana said, setting the lamp on a table beside the bed. “I feel responsible. Had I not left . . .”
Colonel Hawkins went to her. He took her hands. “Do not blame yourself,” he said softly. “From what I have noticed, your father has been having trouble with his heart. It was only a matter of time. Do not blame yourself for what was going to happen anyway.”
Shoshana slid her hands free. She hurried from the room.
Carrying the lamp, Colonel Hawkins came after her. He followed her into her room and set the lamp on a table. “Shoshana, I’m so sorry,” he said softly. “And don’t you worry about a thing. I’ll take care of all the arrangements. I imagine we should bury him in our small cemetery. And, Shoshana, he will get a full military funeral.”
“I knew you would see to that,” Shoshana said, recalling the many funerals she’d attended back in Missouri and at the other military forts. “Thank you.”
“Is there anything I can do for you?” Colonel Hawkins asked, his eyes filled with sympathy. “Are you going to be all right?”
“I’ll be fine,” Shoshana said, nodding.
“I’ll send someone soon for the body,” Colonel Hawkins said. “Then you get some rest. And do you want food? Are you hungry?”
“I’m fine,” she said, swallowing hard, for she was taking this death much worse than she would have imagined.
“I’ll tell the soldiers not to disturb you in any way,” Colonel Hawkins said.
“Thank you,” Shoshana murmured. “I appreciate all that you are doing for me.”
“I wish I could do more,” he said, then walked from the house, leaving Shoshana alone with her thoughts, and her guilt.
“What must I do?” she whispered to herself, pacing. She had not expected to feel so torn. Should she stay and attend the funeral?
But, no. Storm was waiting for her. And she truly didn’t want to be a part of the funeral.
She walked to a window and gazed up at the sky. It was finally dark. And there wasn’t any trace of a moon. Escaping would be easy, for that was what she had decided to do. She would leave this place as soon as she could.
She would leave a note, but not the one she had originally planned. She would explain to the colonel how she felt about things and that she needed time alone; she would ask him not to send anyone to look for her.
She would explain that she had her future mapped out, and beg him to respect her privacy.
But she wouldn’t give any details. He would just have to accept that she was gone.