I was past the blizzard and onto the dirty slush as my feet tromped through what had once been an idyllic beauty.
This rotation was with radiology. Next was anesthesia. I was really not looking forward to either, but I knew that I needed both to become the kind of emergency medicine doctor that I’d always dreamed of. I’d done two monthlong rotations in emergency medicine, and I was working on getting a broader base of knowledge with my electives. Especially after spending months on the other core fields on medicine. I hadn’t minded family medicine, which Cézanne was specializing in despite everyone wanting to push her into surgery, but pediatrics had been my least favorite. As an ER doctor, I knew that I’d have to deal with sick kids, but I hated seeing them. It was too hard not to imagine Aly or Madison or Jason all day. That had been the hardest rotation by far last semester.
I shuddered, thinking about it, as I pushed out of the hospital and toward my car. I blinked up at the dark sky overhead. Was it really that late?
I checked my phone to see that it was already six o’clock, but the damn winter made it seem so much later. Thanks, daylight saving time.
The other benefit of checking my phone was that I had a message from Jordan.
Any interest in trying the whites tonight?
A smile touched my features before exhaustion won out. As much as I’d love to do that, I couldn’t. I needed sustenance and then to study for boards. No wine for me tonight.
I didn’t have the energy to respond. So, I dialed his number as I got into my car.
“Hey there,” he said.
I could hear typing on the other end of the line. As if he was still working. Maybe he was still at Wright Construction. He really did work as much as I did.
“Hey. I can’t do wine tonight. I have to study.”
“All right. You could study at my house.”
I put him on speaker as I headed out of the hospital deck. “All my stuff is at my house, and I need to eat something. I only had time for a protein bar for lunch, and now, my stomach is eating itself.”
“I could pick up Chinese on my way home and meet you there. There’s that new place out by my house that has the best lo mein. You like lo mein?”
“Everyone likes lo mein,” I said with a laugh.
“Okay. Let me know what you like, and I’ll put in an order.”
“Jordan, I can’t,” I muttered.
Wasn’t this the point of friends with benefits? That both of us were too busy for a relationship. Didn’t it seem like a relationship to have him pick up dinner for me on his way home?
“It’s just studying, Annie. Your house is still a disaster. Not exactly conducive to getting anything done. And I have plenty of work to keep me occupied all night. I won’t be in your way.”
“It sounds like a date,” I told him.
He paused as if he, too, knew that it sounded like a date. But he only hesitated a moment. The businessman in him had prepared for my dissent. “I used to pick up Chinese for my friend Cush while he was going through medical school in Vancouver. I know how grueling it is, Annie. This is what friends do.”
I chewed on my bottom lip as I pulled into my driveway. My house was a wreck. I’d had trouble already, trying to get work done when contractors kept coming by to get measurements and the landlord was about to rip out all of the hardwood due to the water damage. Plus, Chinese did sound pretty amazing.
A lingering part of me said that I should be mad at Jordan. The last three years had been rocky between us at best, openly hostile at worst. It was strange to want to ditch my own house for his mansion and peace and quiet. I wasn’t even thinking about the sex. Okay, maybe just a little.
But giving in felt like an admission. Maybe just staying home was the right idea.
“Nah, I’ll pass. Thanks for the offer though.”
“All right,” he said, carefully masking what sounded like disappointment. “I’m about to leave the office. Text me if you change your mind.”
I hung up and stepped into my own house. I’d made the right decision. I was sure of it. We weren’t dating. I wasn’t going to go over to his house for no reason. After I’d slept over twice this weekend.
A yawn broke free as I pushed into the living room. Sleep always got harder once the semester started.
Last semester, I’d taken much of November and December off from rotations for all of my interviews. It was a whirlwind of residency programs. I didn’t get to see much of any one city, except the cab ride from the airport and the inside of the hospitals, which all looked the same. I’d lost more sleep from interviewing than from rotations, and I still hadn’t caught up. Even with a few weeks ostensibly off.