Wright with Benefits

“No,” I breathed.

Because he couldn’t be saying this. Not now. Not after years and years and years of hoping he’d finally see that I was the one. Of counting the years to thirty. So it didn’t matter who I dated because Chase would always be there to pick me up later.

“You know it’s true.”

He stepped forward. I stepped back.

“I don’t know that,” I told him.

“Annie, I’ve always loved you.”

“As friends.”

“As more than friends,” he insisted. “Always.”

I shook my head. “Why are you saying this? Why are you ruining everything?”

He tried to take my hand, and I jumped back like I’d been shot.

“Annie…”

“I’ve waited my entire life for you, Chase. I casually dated. Never really found anyone. But now—now that I’m finally serious with someone—is when you bring all of this up?”

“I didn’t know that you were going to be dating someone seriously!”

“And what about the ring?” I shouted at him. “You showed me the ring you were going to propose to Kennedy with!”

“I know. Then I saw you, and I realized I was wrong about everything. How could I marry someone else when my heart would always belong to you?”

I slapped his hand away as he tried to touch me. “No,” I said again, tears coming to my eyes. “You don’t mean any of that.”

“I do. I always have. You’re my forever girl.”

“Don’t call me that,” I gasped.

It was what he’d called me when we made our pact. His forever girl. I’d cherished that thought for so long, and now, he was demolishing it.

“I don’t understand why you’re so mad. We made that pact. We said we’d end up together.”

“That was a decade ago,” I shouted at him. “We were eighteen and fucking stupid, Chase. We didn’t know what would happen. We just couldn’t let go yet, and you were leaving. You were always leaving me, and I needed reassurance that it wouldn’t be forever.”

“And it doesn’t have to be,” he said, raising his voice to meet my hysteria.

“This is only because of Jordan.”

Chase wrinkled his nose. “I mean, I’m not thrilled that you’re dating him, a Wright. But it’s about you, Annie.”

“No, see, you found out I was serious with someone. You saw us together at the Super Bowl party, and you decided you didn’t like that I was happy with someone else other than you.” I wrenched my purse off of the ground. “Well, too late, Chase. If you wanted to be with me, then you should have manned up and asked me before I fell in love with someone else, and not when you see your safety net closing.”

“Annie!” he called as I stormed toward the door. He jogged after me, catching me by the elbow. “Please, I love you. You can’t…you can’t love him.”

But I did. I just hadn’t been able to admit it to myself until this moment. Wasn’t Chase Sinclair just revelatory for my relationship?

“Good-bye, Chase.”

Then I yanked the door and stepped out, leaving behind my best friend and the man I’d always thought I was going to marry.

30

Annie

By the time I cooled off from my confrontation with Chase, Jordan was off work. I really, really needed to go over there and talk to him. The last few days, he’d been MIA. He still answered texts, but I hadn’t seen him since his mom’s revelation.

Can I come over?

I wanted to tell him what had happened. I wanted to talk to him about the rank situation. I just…I just needed him.

Kind of beat. Just going to crash.

My face dropped.

I could just snuggle you?

Just want to be alone tonight.

My heart constricted. I didn’t want him to want to be alone. I wanted him to want to be held and comforted. Not that I had any clue what to do if he didn’t want me there. I could just show up. I didn’t want him to get mad, but I just didn’t know what to do.

So, I let him sleep alone that night.

I slept in my empty bed and hoped that he’d come around tomorrow.

He didn’t come around the next day.

Or the day after that.

I saw him only briefly when I showed up at the office to check on him. And he was the same Jordan…except that he wasn’t. There was something dark and heavy lingering around him.

He didn’t want company. He wasn’t good company. And he quickly ushered me back out of the office.

I knew he had to work twice as much with the winery friend-and-family event this weekend, and apparently, all the reps for the soccer complex had come in for meetings. He was working around the clock, and the stress must have been insane. But I’d never know because he was too busy to talk to me.

I was at my rope’s end when I decided I needed an intervention to figure this out. It was outside of my wheelhouse. I needed to talk to someone who had been there.