“I do,” she said. “It’s fun.”
“What do you like about it?”
She tilted her head, considering. “I like that people come in with something wrong, and I can help them fix it, but they have to do all the work. It’s their choice, and they have the freedom to stop coming if they want.”
“Why do you like that?”
“Because it means that when they’re in front of me, asking for my help, I know they’re going to get what they want and then feel better. They’re going to be able to go through their day with less back pain, say, or to feel more attractive or energetic because they’ve lost the weight that was making them unhappy.”
“It sounds very … concrete.”
She nodded enthusiastically, and he knew he’d said the right thing. “It is. And
when I leave at the end of the day, it’s over. It’s got excellent boundaries.”
Tony thought about Amber’s day. Amber’s life. There were no boundaries in it anywhere. Just kids who needed her all the time, no matter whether she was supposed to be on or off duty. Him, coming home late, needing conversation or comfort in the middle of the night.
He could see the appeal of the fantasy.
He could understand the appeal of the gym, too, as much as he’d resented hearing her talk about Marc when she was a member there going for regular training sessions. Marc this, Marc that. Marc is going to help me strengthen my core.
Tony had met Marc once. The power of his hatred for the man had surprised him.
Unfair to Amber, but there it was.
“I dated a girl with a job kind of like that,” he said. “She worked at a community center.”
“Was she cute?”
“Adorable. Hot, too.”
She ran her finger around the rim of her glass. “What happened to her?”
“I’m not sure,” he said. “Last I heard, she was getting married.”
“It’s a plague.”
“She was pregnant.”
“Ah. The old shotgun wedding.”
“I always wondered if she’d have made the same choice. If she hadn’t been pregnant.”
As soon as he said it, he wished he could take it back. Her mouth went flat, and he could see it in her face. She knew what he was asking.
Would you choose me again?
He’d never asked.
He’d always been afraid of what she’d say.
“What was the guy like?”
Tony looked at the ocean, because the bar was getting loud and he was starting to feel cramped, the noise compressing him into too little space.
“He was all right, I guess. He worked hard. Tried to give her the kind of life she deserved.”
“Did he love her?”