Christmas at the Riverview Inn

But she didn’t want to tell him how every square inch of this place was haunted with some memory of Cameron. Of them. Of how she felt about him. It was humiliating to still feel so much when he so clearly felt nothing. And never had.

How was she supposed to say that?

So instead she laughed and bumped her shoulder against his.

“It’s not going to work,” she said.

“It always works.”

“I’m not fifteen.”

Another beat of silence and then he started the car. “I’m here,” he said. “When you’re ready.”

They dropped the big tree first, and just as if the whole family had been waiting for them to show up with trees, they came out with gloves on, ready to help pull it inside. Patrick, Jonah, and Daphne, too. Alice gave instructions from the stairway.

“Further left,” she said, and everyone shifted in a different direction.

“Love of my life,” Gabe said. “Our left or yours?”

“Oh. Mine.” Alice winced and everyone shuffled in the right direction. Dom set up the industrial tree stand and Iris was there with the ropes they’d use to stand the thing up and secure it to the wall, so there wouldn’t be a repeat of the tree-falling-down incident of 2012.

“Count of three,” Max said.

“Wait,” Alice said. “Would it be better by the windows?”

“No!” everyone yelled in unison.

“One. Two,” Max said. “Three.” And there was a chorus of groans and a showering of pine needles, and the tree weaved and then stood straight. And every Mitchell there cheered.

“Okay,” Alice said. “Who is going to help decorate?”

And like mice, everyone scattered.

It used to be Cameron’s job. Cameron and Alice for years, and then Josie joined. The three of them had spent hours on the tree. Getting the lights right. Hanging the ornaments just so. Cameron did it, in the beginning, for Alice. Because in the beginning he would do anything for Alice.

But Josie did it for Cameron. To be near him.

And at some point, she liked to believe that Cameron enjoyed being with her, too. She’d convinced herself that he felt the same way she did, but was shy. And worried about the age difference. And what the family would think.

She’d convinced herself of so much.

It’s not your fault.

That was bullshit. She’d been the only other person in that room the night of her birthday. And when she’d woken up, he was gone. He’d decided to leave the only home he knew rather than stay and talk to her. Be with her. Love her.

And—more importantly—her Christmas Survival Plan was rooted firmly on her decision to not think about him.

“Josie!” Alice cried and Josie stopped in her mad dash to hide in the kitchen. Which, really, if you were going to hide from Alice was kind of a crap hiding spot.

“Busted,” Helen said as she smiled and started to slide on past her to freedom. Josie put out her hand and stopped Helen.

“Hey, you were going to tell me something last night. You didn’t want me to be surprised…?”

The smile dropped from Helen’s face.

“Is everything okay? You’re kind of freaking me out,” Josie said.

“It’s fine. All is totally fine. I’ll tell you later. Go help Alice.”

“Come with me,” Josie begged. “Please…”

“No way. You haven’t been here for five years. Who do you think has been hanging all those ornaments to her exact specifications?”

Alice’s exact specifications were exactly what turned something that should have been fun into a hair-pulling event. But that wasn’t why Josie didn’t want to do this alone, and one look at Helen’s face and she knew her cousin got it.

But Helen shook her head, still unwilling to sacrifice the next few hours trying to make Alice happy.

“I will, however, save you some cookies and milk,” Helen offered as a consolation prize.

“Make it cookies and wine and you’re on.”

“It’s not even noon,” Helen said, feigning shock.

“Josie!” Alice shouted.

“Cookies and wine it is,” Helen said, and Josie turned around to meet her fate.

5

ALICE

Alice had some regrets in her life. The Snapsein wedding when she’d agreed on cupcakes for dessert. (Cupcakes, honestly. Was she ever glad that craze was over.) The soufflé misery of last year. The vegetarian Thanksgiving that was delicious, but that the old-guard Mitchell carnivores could not get their heads around.

She would have regretted her first marriage to Gabe, but without it they wouldn’t have ended up here, so she couldn’t quite bring herself to do it. Though she regretted her behavior at the end. The things she’d said to him. The way they’d left things…so bitter. So scorched earth.

Thank god they’d gotten a second chance.

The years she’d lost to drinking. She regretted those more than she could say.

And that night with Josie and Cameron.

She’d tried to save both of them and ended up losing them instead.

It’s now or never to fix it.

Alice pushed a hand against her heart and took a deep breath.