Cameron smiled and watched as Patrick left. It’s not the same, he told himself when he found he wanted to believe it was. That Patrick was right—it was harder to be apart than to figure out how to be together. And maybe it wasn’t hard for him. He had no ties to any place. No apartment. No job expecting him to solve problems twenty-four hours a day.
Stop. You knew the rules going in. This was goodbye.
He pulled out the cinnamon rolls that had proofed overnight and started to preheat the oven, and he did the dishes, and none of it mattered because he couldn’t stop the thought that grew in his head.
What if this isn’t goodbye?
17
JOSIE
She gave herself a minute in the bathroom. She brushed her hair. Found some mouthwash and made use of it. Washed her face and then pressed her face to a towel hanging on the back of the door and wondered what happened next.
What do I want to have happen next?
You gotta quit that job.
Not if she could change it, right? Not if there was a chance.
Fumbling, she pulled the phone that would not stop binging from her pocket. There were seven hundred new emails. Seven hundred. And nearly as many texts.
She scanned through the emails until she saw one from Network Executives, Your Pitch in the subject line. Her heart slammed up into her throat. It could work, all of this could work. She imagined opening the email, finding out they liked the idea and were looking forward to discussing it further after the holiday break. A fresh start. A new chance.
Her thumb opened the email.
We have no idea how this would even work, the email said. Or what kind of audience might be into this? We would lose all of our advertisers. This might work in some kind of small setting but for our network it’s a hard pass. You’re very good at your job, Josie. And we look forward to you bringing this kind of energy to the new season of I Do/I Don’t. Have a good holiday.
There was a terrible blank spot where her heartbeat usually pounded. Where her brain made plans and lists and considered possibilities and opportunities. And then the blank space was filled with the hot burning rush of…not embarrassment. Not resignation. Anger.
Anger.
And not even at her bosses because, honestly, what had she expected?
What kind of fool was I to think they’d go for this idea? For any idea that wasn’t a full asshole season.
You’ve got to quit that job.
That was incredibly obvious at this point. It was ludicrous, really, how obvious it was. Like all those things that had been so important to her were…well, meaningless. What she’d been clinging to, that hope, it was gone. And all that mattered was how painfully unhappy she was.
And she’d had just one day of happiness, bright and hot and beautiful, and now the idea of going back to that awful dark-gray place she’d lived in for the last few years was…oh god.
Looking at that email she knew there was only one thing to do.
They could give her money and make her queen of the world and it wouldn’t change the fact that she was rotting from the inside.
She took a deep breath and sent an email to her boss.
This is my resignation. I’ll help cast this season and then I’m out. Good luck.
Immediately she laughed. Immediately she was seven hundred emails lighter. The blinders were gone and she saw in the corners of her life a hundred possibilities and opportunities.
But there was only one right in front of her. Only one she really wanted.
She received an immediate response from her boss. More money. A better office. And none of it mattered.
She actually made some strange whooping noise in her throat. The relief of this…for a second she couldn’t feel her hands.
She turned her phone off and put it back in her pocket.
The job she wanted was out in the living room. Or in the kitchen making cinnamon buns.
In the great room the fire was crackling but there was no sign of Patrick, who had undoubtedly made a quick escape. He liked a drama-free life these days. And Josie felt like she and Cameron had enough drama for a thousand people.
Suddenly there was Christmas music coming through the speakers and the lights on the tree were on. Oh no, she thought. Not Alice. Not yet.
But it was Cameron at the stereo. “It’s the morning of Christmas Eve,” he said. “The family is going to be here, like, any minute.”
“Can I ask you five questions about your job?”
He blinked at her. “Sure.”
“Where are you going next?”
“I haven’t decided,” he said. “I usually spend the winter in the Southern Hemisphere. Australia, maybe? But I need to finish the show with Mateo before I leave. And then I was trying to think of how to frame the Alice show. Maybe you can help me with that…you know…before you go back to the city.”