I sit back up and stare into the faces of my brothers. “Does anyone have anything nice to say to me today?”
“Nope,” Oliver says.
Holt grins.
“I don’t. You look like shit,” Wade says.
He’s right. I know it. I feel like I look like shit.
My back aches from sleeping on the couch. My neck is cramped from the weird bend it has to take to fit on the pillow that clearly wasn’t made to be on a narrow space. I can’t sprawl out or stretch at all, and I woke up this morning determined to find a solution to the problem that’s marring me.
But the more I think about it, the more I realize that there’s not another space for me to sleep without losing my workout room. And I don’t want to do that. I also don’t know what to do about that.
I hate being an adult.
I sigh.
“Everything good with Jaxi?” Holt asks. “All joking aside. Don’t say anything stupid, Oliver.”
I consider how to respond to Holt’s question.
Yes, things are good. Very fucking good, really. She’s the easiest woman to be around. We love the same foods, the same movies, and laugh at the same jokes. We work together as a team like nobody’s business. And the sexual tension? It’s in spades.
I can tell she’s intentionally avoiding fucking around with me. Instead of being frustrated, and although I don’t fully understand why, I respect it. She has a lot on her plate and I admire how methodical she’s being about everything.
It’s better than I’d do if I were in her shoes.
“I’m thinking about getting a dog,” I say.
Oliver laughs. “You better slow down with the dog business.”
“Why?” I ask. “A dog would be nice.”
“Does Rosie want a dog?” Holt asks.
I nod but immediately feel embarrassed. “Yes, but it might be nice just having an animal around. They are man’s best friend, you know.”
Wade adjusts his tie. “May I point out to you that a dog is a commitment?”
“Obviously.”
“A long commitment,” he adds.
“Clearly, Wade. You can’t just decide you don’t want it in six weeks. I get it.”
Oliver leans forward. “I mean this nicely, but do you even have that level of commitment with Jaxi and the kid?”
And Wade moves up the Favorite Brother Leaderboard into third place.
Holt watches my reaction with the care of the oldest child.
“I think if you want a dog, you should get a dog,” Holt says.
Oliver makes a scene of looking at him like he’s lost his mind. Holt ignores him.
“I, for one, know what it’s like to fall in love,” Holt says. “It happens so fast you don’t even realize it’s happening.”
But I think I know that it’s happening.
I thought about buying a bigger house today. When I looked at houses on the market, I checked the school ratings in each neighborhood. I asked my secretary to find someone to give swim lessons to a four-year-old.
I think the seeds were planted the day I met Jaxi. I just can’t keep them from blooming.
“You might be rushing this just a bit,” Wade says. “You need to think this through.”
“Wade, stop being so clinical,” Holt tells him.
“I’m not being clinical, Holt. I’m being realistic,” Wade replies. “Even if he does love Jaxi—let’s say that’s possible in the time that he’s known her—”
“I loved Blaire that quick,” Holt snaps.
Oliver rolls his eyes. “We know. We were there.”
“Anyway,” Wade says, giving Oliver a silent high-five, “let’s go with it for the sake of the conversation. It’s easy for you to figure out your feelings. Jaxi, though, has a lot on her plate. How do you know she wants to buy what you’re selling?”
My jaw opens in mock horror.
“First of all, I’m very handsome,” I say. “Thank you very much. Second, I’m nice. And a gentleman.”
Oliver snorts.
“I can take care of her,” I say, motioning around my desk. “Look at me. I’m working. Bringing home the bacon. What’s not to love?”
“Is that what she wants from you? Or anyone, for that matter?” Wade asks. “She doesn’t want to have a say in how the bacon gets cured? She just wants someone to bring it home?” He shrugs. “It’s fine if she does. I don’t give a shit. Just asking.”
“Well, I mean …”
Wouldn’t she want that?
It hasn’t crossed my mind that she might not want me to take care of her. What if she wants to do things herself?
My brain thinks about my mother and how she has a life independent of my father. Sure, Dad makes money and could easily have taken care of our family. But Mom was adamant that she have a career of her own and opened a very successful jewelry line.
Maybe Jaxi wants something like that too?
This thinking is definitely putting the cart before the horse. A couple of weeks ago, I wasn’t looking for love and had zero interest in settling down.